Growing Up Is Hard

Jena Muhr ponders what she has learned from the elderly members of her family: we are never done growing up.

I am very blessed that my children have four living great-grandparents. They are all in their middle 90s and have lived through so much. They have fought in world wars and the wars that came after that. They have emigrated to new countries to forge a better life for them and their families. They have been the first to go to college in their families. They have raised children and watched their children have children, and those children have children. They have done their best and have lived good lives. And through all of this, they have continued to grow up. 

As their granddaughter I know how fleeting the time that my children and I will have with them. I was fortunate to meet two of my great-grandmothers, but only have vague memories of one of them before she passed. To see my children be able to interact with and, hopefully, retain memories of their great-grands makes me feel so happy and sad at the same time.

Happy because it is so amazing that this is not something that is rare. Having the aged as a part of our lives is needed for our families and society. They hold so much knowledge and experience. Things that are huge for me, or scary, are just another season of their lives. They know themselves, and their Creator with the security found in time and practice. 

And it makes me sad too, because I know that sometime in the probably not-so-distant future we will need to say goodbye to them in this life. My children are young enough that their faith is so pure and unselfish that they will hopefully see this as a wonderful event for their great-grands—that they get to go meet Jesus and to live in Heaven with Him. But it will be heartbreaking for me because, although I believe those things too, I am grown up enough to know how badly it will hurt to continue to grow up without them here on Earth with us. 

I know that they cannot stay here together forever, and the time will come to say goodbye to more family and friends. Others may say goodbye to me someday. But I am selfish and want them to stay here, with me and with the family. 

Growing up is hard. You know more, but you also know less. Watching the great-grands continue to grow up, they have more aches and pains. They move slower, rest more, but seem to sleep less. They have seen changes and seasons of life; from the great depression, to wars, birthing and burying of their children, losing friends, the list goes on. From my position it seems that the final life lesson that they are learning is humility.

While I am learning the blessing of family and caring for others, they are learning how to swallow their pride and allow others to tend to their daily needs—to bathe them, dress, help them with life’s basic bodily habits. It is hard to watch them go through this because I can only imagine how much it hurts to allow someone else to do this for them.

Growing up is definitely not for the weak. It takes courage, love, dedication, patience and, I am learning humility. #catholicmom

As I sit and reflect, I can only hope that I live a life as blessed as theirs. And I hope to give others the love and lessons that they have given to me and my children. Growing up is definitely not for the weak. It takes courage, love, dedication, patience and, I am learning to know, humility. 

Pray for our elderly: we need them, and they need us.

Copyright 2022 Jena Muhr
Images: Canva