Helping Our Children Build Strong Consciences

Sheri Wohlfert offers advice about helping kids form their consciences well.

There are so many pieces to raising disciples, and we’re concerned with both the physical and spiritual needs as we help our kids form holy habits that will follow them throughout life. How do we help our children form a strong conscience?

Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Since a strong conscience is like an anchor to God’s truth and a life steeped in Gospel teaching, it’s worth some prayerful attention.

A Clear Explanation and Conversation About Right and Wrong

Simply put, our conscience is how God communicates with us about our words and actions. You can think of it as a muscle that needs to be developed and strengthened. The Holy Spirit helps us hear and properly respond to God’s promptings.

Teach kids to ask the Holy Spirit to help them follow God’s promptings. Those yucky feelings when we do, or almost do, something wrong are telling us something. Talk about noticing them, feeling them and responding to them. It’s also important to talk about the outcome when we might ignore them.

According to the Father, there really is right and wrong, and it’s based in God’s truth. Society today seems to paint a lot of gray but living out our sainthood requires us to follow God’s laws and church teachings. Kids need to understand that getting away with something doesn’t make it right.

My kids hated it when they faced a consequence others seemed to skate by, but I was always happy to point out that God chose me to be their mom, not anybody else’s. Learning right from wrong and why, comes from lots of conversation; truth spoken in love is the key. It’s often easier to talk about right and wrong actions and behaviors when the subject is in a book or a movie rather than evaluating classmates or neighbors.

There Are ALWAYS Consequences

Our words and actions have consequences. It’s never just about one person … others are always touched and it’s necessary for kids to see how far things can ripple out. Empathy and compassion are crucial. When we help our kids learn that what we do and say affects others, their perspective widens and words like forgiveness and amends begin to have deeper meaning. Use movies, books, or real-life examples to show how actions can ripple out in both positive and negative ways.

Humility and Modeling Are Powerful

A great point of conversation is that things won’t always be fair and doing the right thing isn’t always easy. Humility means putting the Father first: His will, His way, His truth. Sometimes the only reason to do the good thing is because we love God and want to grow closer to Him.

Kids learn what they see, so we have to be the mirror. We have to demonstrate mercy, honesty, repentance, and grace because they are the reflection of a well-formed conscience. The most powerful way to teach them is to show them, demonstrate to them, encourage them, and require them from ourselves and our children.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2026 Sheri Wohlfert
Images: Canva