Cathi Kennedy considers how her observation at a grocery store became a reflection on community.
On my way to work this morning, I stopped at a local grocery store for a donut. This local grocery store chain is known for its deli sections, which include cafe-style dining spaces. They also have the BEST donuts in the area — if you fight me on this, I will defend them to the death.
Standing in the check-out line, I watched the people in the cafe. I’ve taken to calling this “old person Starbucks” ... and I’m not wrong. I’ve been to many of these store locations, often on a hunt for a donut or some sushi for lunch, and the people who gather tend to be 60+ and mostly male.
And I love it.
Community for well-being
I am an introvert, but I love community. Whether it is my work team, my beloved book club, or my childhood friends, being with my people fills my heart and restores my soul. I believe that living alongside others is one of the most treasured aspects of this human life. Community, whether it is our biological family, our friends, our parish, etc., is vital to our emotional well-being.
So, when I see a group of mature gentlemen laughing and talking in groups over donuts and coffee, it brightens my day. Maybe they worked together in years past or go to the same church, or perhaps they’ve just congregated in the same grocery store cafe long enough to become friends.
I’m speaking in generalities, but it’s much easier for women to create, nurture, and participate in groups. We are wired for it. But for men, at least those in my life, community tends to fall into church, sports, and work. You could also throw in hobbies like car repair or music for some.
Why it’s important for marriage
So why am I going on about men eating donuts to a group of Catholic moms?
Friendships outside of marriage are crucial for both wives and husbands. Marriage is a sacrament, but that doesn’t mean we stop needing other relationships.
How good and how pleasant it is, when brothers dwell together as one! (Psalm 133:1)
Community brings support, accountability, laughter, conversation, friendship, and a sense of belonging. And the more supported and loved we feel, the more we can meet the needs of others, especially our spouses. It’s a giant wheel of interconnectedness — with God at the center.
We are not meant to be solitary in this life. Seek community for yourself and your spouse. It can be as simple as a trip to the grocery store.
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Copyright 2024 Cathi Kennedy
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About the Author
Cathi Kennedy
Cathi Kennedy is passionate about building relationships. At the University of Notre Dame, she advises graduate students for the Mendoza College of Business. An impassioned writer, voracious reader, and aspiring knitter married to a musician and mom to two amazing sons, Cathi is a convert to Catholicism. She seeks to learn something new about her faith every day.
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