How Busy Families Can Build the Habit of Family Prayer Time

Amelia Bentrup shares how her family got in the habit of having regular family prayer time together.  

A few years ago, our priest gave a homily on the importance of praying together as a family. Prior to that, we had tried to institute family prayer time, but it always fell by the wayside as kids got older and busy schedules interfered. This child or parent would not be home. That activity or event interfered. Life just got in the way, so we would fall out of the habit.   

But a few years ago, we decided to institute the practice of family prayer and then stick to it religiously (pun intended). We set a time, and whoever was home would gather in the living room for family prayer during that time. If certain family members weren’t home, we went ahead and prayed without them and for them. I finally realized that if we were to only have family prayer when all could be present, our times would be very sparse indeed.  
 
In fact, if neither my husband nor I are home at prayer time, the teen who is in charge of watching their younger siblings will lead family prayer without us. One of my proudest moments as a mom was coming home and seeing my teenage son and daughter having family prayer together while the rest of us weren’t home. Our family prayer time is at night, so if we aren’t home during our usual family prayer time, we will do family prayer in the car on our way home from wherever we were.   

Along those years of doing family prayer together, very regularly, we have learned some tips to build the habit and be more consistent and have a more fruitful prayer time.  

Be fairly consistent with the time.

Pick a time that will work best for your family and where you won’t be rushing bedtime, and then stick with it. Whoever is home at the time, comes. If my husband isn’t back from work yet or a child is at an activity, that is okay. We can do family prayer without them.  

Vary your prayers.

This is probably my most important tip. Different family members will resonate with different prayers or like to pray in different styles. Some people love the Rosary. Others love the Liturgy of Hours. Some family members like music and having a praise and worship night. Some members love to listen to saints' stories or use devotional books. I love litanies, such as the Litany of Humility and the Litany of Saints. We rotate who gets to lead prayers each night (even young children); that way everyone gets a chance to pray in the way they connect with best, and we aren’t always praying the Rosary or always doing Evening Prayer.  

Incorporate all the types of prayer.

While it is important to vary your prayers, it is also important to teach children about the different types of prayer and incorporate them. This includes Adoration, Contrition, Petition and Thanksgiving. In each of our prayer times, we try to include some aspect of all of these prayers. We try to allow brief time for silent examination of conscience and allow each family member to offer petitions and thanksgiving and of course, time of adoration, whatever form our prayer may take.  

Allow for talking time.

When you first all sit down to family prayers, there will be talking. It’s just natural: you get a group of people together and they are going to start talking. Instead of rushing right into prayer times, we have decided to allow for and even encourage talking. Many times, family prayer time is the only family time we get together. Due to busy schedules, we don’t always eat dinner together, so instead before we start our prayers, we have talking time. This is 15 to 20 minutes or so where we just talk, we share things about our day, tell jokes, play Mad Libs (who doesn’t love a good game of Mad Libs?), and just connect a bit before we start our prayers.  

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

Family prayer is about connecting with each other and connecting with Christ. It is okay if small children don’t sit still or there are interruptions. It is okay if everyone isn’t paying attention perfectly. It is okay if small children need to eat or the dog is barking. Life happens. We can pray through life.  

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Family prayer is about connecting with each other and connecting with Christ. #CatholicMom

While instituting the habit of family prayer can take some work and some sacrifice, it is well worth it to bring the family together and teach the importance of prayer, how to pray and modeling prayer for our children.  

Copyright 2023 Amelia Bentrup
Images (from top): iStock; iStock; Holy Cross Family Ministries; Canva