How I Finally Found Enough Time

Tired of feeling like she never had enough time in the day, Denise Jelinek decided to take her plans in a different direction.

Does your brain ever think you don’t have enough time, like God somehow short-changed you in the minutes of your day?

For many years, I believed this was 100% irrefutably true.

I believed that all the things I needed to get done required way more time than was available. A quick glance at my impressive to-do list would prove that.

My long to-do lists and chronic feelings of time scarcity lead to days that felt hard and unfulfilling.

I had an inkling something was off, but I didn’t know any other way to live.

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Truth from the Holy Spirit

One day, the Holy Spirit revealed a truth that was hard to swallow: There was only one person making my life feel like there was never enough time in my day. And that one person was looking at me in the mirror.

Slowly, the Lord revealed that at the root of this time scarcity mindset and excessive doing was a deeper longing to be “good enough.”

I realized I had subconsciously created ambitious to-do lists to show my motivation, drive, focus, eagerness, and determination. I believed that crossing items off my to-do list was a reflection of who I was, and it proved my worthiness.

Since I linked my worth to my to-do list, it was no wonder that I clung so tightly to it, believing everything had to get done. It was about more than completing a task; it was confirmation that I was “good enough.”

But It Didn’t Work

If all of this accomplishment were enough, then why was I in a constant state of unrest and still not feeling “enough?” Why was my list getting longer, but I wasn’t feeling any better?

I learned I had a hole in my soul, a hole I was trying to fill by excessive busyness, productivity and chronic people-pleasing. It didn’t work because that’s not what I needed. I needed the Lord, but I couldn’t hear His voice from the noise of my life.

I never considered what He wanted me to do. I filled my emotional cup by seeking other people’s validation and approval.

My longing to be “good enough” drove me into a hard, chaotic life that I blamed on everyone else. To cope with the stress, I overate and over-drank, which only made my life harder.

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Rock Bottom

It had to stop.

I finally hit rock bottom with the emotional eating. I was miserable. I felt horrible about my body and myself, and I hated what I was doing and how I felt. Something had to change.

As painful as that time was, I am grateful for it because it was the turning point to stop the chase to be “good enough.” I decided to point my entire life in a new direction: toward God.

One by one, I faced the issues I had been running away from, and the Lord helped me repair my relationship with myself, learn my true worth, and heal.

I stopped looking to other people to find my worth. They can NEVER fill me like the Lord because they weren’t created to do that.

This newfound freedom, strangely enough, finally gave me enough time in my day.

Click to tweet:
I believed that crossing items off my to-do list was a reflection of who I was, and it proved my worthiness. #CatholicMom

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But How?

I don’t need to overload my day anymore to prove anything. Yes, I still make to-do lists, but I ask God what He wants, and I’m willing to leave things undone.

If there’s something “I just gotta get done,” I know why I’m choosing to do it. Now, my reasons are: “I want it off my brain,” or “It will make my day easier tomorrow.” I don’t do anything anymore to prove to myself I’m good enough.

If my life feels hard and chaotic, it’s usually because I’m completing a task to prove my worth to others. Now, I might still choose to do that task, but at least I know why I’m doing it, and I can choose to keep the chaos or let it go.

I pray we all start to do what we know He wants for us so our lives can feel more peaceful and simpler. God Bless!

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