I Wanted to Be a Mother

As her son turns eighteen, Jen Scheuermann reflects on her initial desire to be a mother.

Eighteen years ago, I held you for the first time.

I didn’t know everything I valued would change in an instant—
the very instant you were placed in my arms.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

I didn’t understand then that motherhood was a vocation—
a calling from God, a path to my own sanctification.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

I didn’t understand the long wait to conceive was part of God’s plan,
and that one day I’d glimpse the beauty of His perfect timing.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

I didn’t understand He would love you even more than I do,
and that He’d ask me to trust Him with all that happens to you.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

I didn’t understand God would use you to teach me about myself,
and I never imagined loving you would help me receive His love for me.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

I didn’t understand that participating in your creation would further my own,
as mothering you has helped me become who God created me to be.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.

God knew it would be too much for me to know these things eighteen years ago,
so in His perfect wisdom,
He filled me only with the desire to be a mother.

Click to tweet:
I didn’t understand God would love you even more than I do, and that He’d ask me to trust Him with all that happens to you. #CatholicMom

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