
As her son turns eighteen, Jen Scheuermann reflects on her initial desire to be a mother.
Eighteen years ago, I held you for the first time.
I didn’t know everything I valued would change in an instant—
the very instant you were placed in my arms.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
I didn’t understand then that motherhood was a vocation—
a calling from God, a path to my own sanctification.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
I didn’t understand the long wait to conceive was part of God’s plan,
and that one day I’d glimpse the beauty of His perfect timing.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
I didn’t understand He would love you even more than I do,
and that He’d ask me to trust Him with all that happens to you.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
I didn’t understand God would use you to teach me about myself,
and I never imagined loving you would help me receive His love for me.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
I didn’t understand that participating in your creation would further my own,
as mothering you has helped me become who God created me to be.
I only knew I wanted to be a mother.
God knew it would be too much for me to know these things eighteen years ago,
so in His perfect wisdom,
He filled me only with the desire to be a mother.
Copyright 2023 Jennifer Scheuermann
Images: Canva
About the Author

Jennifer Scheuermann
While living out her vocations of marriage, motherhood, and health care provider, Jen is often found on the sidelines of a ball game, searching for shade while cheering on her sons. An early riser, she sits with Jesus while it’s still dark and blogs about their conversations at Early Morning Coffee With Jesus. Get to know her more on Instagram or Facebook.
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