Ignatian Wisdom for Moms

Samantha Stephenson shares some of her favorite tenets of Ignatian spirituality manifest in motherhood.

Motherhood has a way of stretching every part of us—body, mind, and soul. The daily tasks feel so small yet so overwhelming: slicing apples, wiping crumbs and tears alike, praying for patience. The tough moments can break us, or we can allow them to slowly shape us, like a river carves deep grooves of beauty into a canyon over eons. But only if we let them. 

Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit order, didn’t live in a home bustling with toddlers or teens, and yet Ignatian spirituality seems built for motherhood. The Spiritual Exercises offers a vision that helps us to recognize that even the most ordinary parts of our vocation are in fact a sacred path of holiness.  

Finding God in All Things 

Finding God in all things is the central tenet of Ignatian spirituality. The Good Gardener sows seeds of contemplation at every moment, not only in quiet prayer time (which may or may not happen before sleepy footsteps descend the stairs in the morning), but in the spilled milk, the mismatched socks, the dandelion bouquets, and the nighttime questions that tug at our sleepy souls. 

The invitation is not to escape into some imagined spiritual life, but to meet God in the thick of this one. 

How do I see God in my child’s nagging? 
How did I fail to love well today — and how can I do better tomorrow? 
How is God using these moments to tutor me in my remedial subject of patience, generosity, humility, and surrender? 

AMDG: For the Greater Glory of God 

If finding God in all things is the central reflective practice of Ignatian spirituality, Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam is its rallying cry: “For the greater glory of God!” 

One temptation is to associate this phrase with pressure—make it all perfect—but in truth, it’s the opposite. Knowing that everything is for God’s glory, and not our own or defined in the world’s terms, liberates us from self-importance. The phrase reminds us that we are not here to build our own kingdoms or perfect homes, but to offer what we have, as we are, to steward what we have been given in the task of raising saints for God’s glory. 

I once thought only the major moments mattered, or that I had to be out serving the poor like Dorothy Day and Saint Teresa of Calcutta to be radically following Jesus. Ignatian spirituality has helped me to recognize that the magnitude of the act is not as important as my posture of surrender, and that finally matching all the socks might be more important than submitting a perfectly polished article. In other words, AMDG is not about outcomes, but faithfulness.  

Ignatian Indifference: A Mother's Surrender 

The word “indifference” might conjure images of apathy, but Ignatius means something deeper: a kind of detachment rooted in holy freedom. He calls us to be open to whatever God wills—health or sickness, riches or poverty, praise or blame — so long as it leads us to love the Lord more deeply, with greater generosity. 

Ignatian indifference reminds me to hold my ideals loosely. To love what God gives, rather than grasping for control. To see the grace in the interruptions, the beauty in the mess, the sanctity in the sacrifice. Rather than grasping tightly to my preconceived ideas of how things should be, I can accept circumstances as they are, and look for the Lord’s will for me even in the rough messiness of reality.  

Does the carpet need to be shampooed again in this season of potty training? Are we still catching mice in these traps? Is the crawl space flooding again? Each of these real-life disasters has hit our home within the past few months. Perhaps, rather than despairing of my inability to maintain perfect order and control, the Lord is inviting me to surrender my idea of perfection, to come to him in petition for these needs and for whatever grace my soul requires to weather these seemingly endless storms.  

Contemplation in Action 

Finally, Ignatius calls us to be contemplatives in action: anchored in prayer, moving through the world with Christ. 

For me, this looks like a thousand silent prayers scattered through the day: 
“Jesus, help me speak gently.” 
“Mary, be a mother to me, so I can mother them.” 
“Lord, make me attentive to what matters right now.” 

Contemplation in action doesn’t require stillness, only awareness. If the basic posture is looking for God in all things, and the basic mantra is AMDG, then the basic tool Ignatius offers us is the awareness examen. This prayerful review at the end of the day is nothing more than asking the Holy Spirit to accompany us as we recall what happened, discerning the clues God has left for us to see Him at work in our day. Making this a regular habit is the transformational key that unlocks our minds and spirits to be attentive contemplatives in action throughout the day as well.   

On this feast of Saint Ignatius, may we mothers learn to see our homes as the domestic churches they truly are and our children as fellow pilgrims. May we live this calling, not perfectly, but prayerfully — for the greater glory of God. 

AMDG. 

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Copyright 2025 Samantha Stephenson
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