I'm Not a Cooking Person

Christina Antus shares some unexpected advice for moms in the trenches of stay-at-home monotony.

I’m not a cooking person.

I preheat.

I hate cooking, actually. And unfortunately, when I decided to have kids, I never considered the fact that I would be responsible for 99% of meals for the foreseeable future. The 1% is miscellaneous, like when eat out or everyone finds crackers in the couch. We won’t even get into the whole discussion about how no one ever wants whatever we have for dinner anyway.

Another post for another time.

While we’re on the subject of cooking for my family, I’m not really a very good housewife. Up until a few years ago, I actually hated it. I’ve always struggled with the loss of my career and independence as if it was something I was pushed out of rather than a choice I freely made. I do that a lot, I forget my choices are my own choices.

It’s had its woe-is-me moments too. Like:

“This is so boring.”

“Every day is the same.”

“I miss my job.”

“I miss my independence.”

“I miss routine.”

“I miss people.”

“Ahhhhhhh!”

If you’re in this stage, I’d like to offer a bit of wisdom to you that I wish I had known eight years ago: embrace it.

Yes.

Hug it like you never want to let it go, because yes, it does actually go by fast, but mostly because never in your life will you ever get to do this again. Never will you be the world to anyone else. Never will you ever be the end all and be all than you are to your littles.

Sometimes we have to pull up our big girl panties and suck it up. We have to learn to let a lot of what we want go for the sake of doing this mom thing the right way. Managing this season of your life is like managing every other season of your life.

It’s all about perspective.

So, roll up your sleeves and let’s get to perspectivizing the season:

“This is so boring.”

Yes, it is. For a long time my day was literally scheduled around meals, snacks, and naps. Every day was so long but every day went so fast. I don’t know how that’s even possible, but it was. Find ways to make it not boring. You don’t have to be Pinteresty, although you can try. I had my share of failing at that, but my kids had a good time. Find new parks; go for a walk; do things with them, like starting a flower garden. I remember pouring flour on my counter and letting my oldest drive Matchbox cars around in it. Sure, it was a mess, but it kept her busy and gave me some time to drink my coffee or fold some clothes without chasing her around.

“Every day is the same.”

Every day is the same no matter what your situation is, whether it’s your office job, your commute, your job duties, etc. It is all what you make it, and always remember the words of Erma Bombeck: “The grass is always greener over the septic tank.” Find news things to do twice a week to change it up for you and your kids. Mostly, for you.

“I miss my job.” “I miss routine.”

Break your housework down into days and times. Do them Monday through Friday. Staying home is a job; the pay is awful, but it’s still your job. Clean bathrooms every Tuesday. Floors on Thursdays. Schedule 2 or 3 loads of laundry every other day. Two birds. One stone.

“I miss my independence.”

Go for a walk after everyone goes to bed. Even if it's around your driveway. Sit on your porch, apartment balcony, in your child’s Radio Flyer wagon. Make some time for yourself, even if it’s only 20 minutes. You’d be surprised how rejuvenating 20 minutes of alone time can be.

“I miss people.”

This is tricky. We moved when I had my first baby and I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t really jive with a lot of playgroup moms and it took us awhile to find a parish we liked. I didn’t really have friends until my kids started elementary school. What did I do until then? I called a lot of friends from home. I leaned on people who I knew supported me, and while distance support isn’t always ideal, it’s still something. I communicated via text or social media messenger, and I started writing. Sometimes, you have to make what you have work until a better time presents itself.

“Ahhhhhhh!”

This never goes away.

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As moms, we hold the power to really control the tone of our family. #catholicmom

Be happy to see your husband and older kids (if you have them) come home at the end of the day. Complain and grumble to God as you mill about your day at home and vent it all out. If it’s a day where you feel like you had nothing good happen, then ask them each about the good parts of their day.

As moms, we hold the power to really control the tone of our family. If you don't believe me, try it. You start and end the day for everyone with your perspective and mood.

I wish I had advice for dinner, but I don’t.

I hate cooking.

I hate grocery shopping.

I hate meal prep.

I’m not a cooking person.

I preheat.