Just a Worrying Mother

After a friend was called "a worrying mother," Kate Moreland pondered how some worries can be a blessing in disguise.

Recently, a fellow mom confessed to me that she had been unhappy at a doctor appointment for one of her children because she was told that she was being, in the doctor's words, “just a worrying mother.” She was upset by this and did not return to that particular provider. At first, I understood her embarrassment, but upon further reflection realized that it might not have been the insult she thought. Is there actually anything wrong with being a worrying mother, or is this simply one aspect of our vocation?

Even the Blessed Mother herself felt anxious when she lost the 12-year-old Christ Child. Any time that we love someone, we innately want the best for him and can feel upset when life does not deal him a kind hand. Whether this is a friend in distress, a child in pain, or the stress felt from watching the inevitable end garnered by years of bad decisions, all are poignant in their own ways. All can bring worry.

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Of course, we need to stive to respond to worry like the Blessed Mother. We cannot become angry, irrational, or otherwise take our worry to extremes that cut us off from trust in the Divine Plan. If God wills suffering, whether by His permissive will or His perfect will, then we must trust that He has allowed this for our salvation. This is easier said than done, especially with sick kids. Even so, when having perfect trust, we can still feel the feeling of worry. That is not always a problem.

As mothers, worry can push us to action and help us notice the subtle troubles in our families. Other times, it simply sits in the backs of our minds, reminding us that we continually have to look to Christ and give our troubles to Him. Children and families bring a myriad of worries and problems, so this can be a frequent reminder to look heavenward with our concerns. The irrational worries are best for this, when we wonder whether our child’s request for an extra glass of water means she has diabetes, or whether the poor decision made by our high-schooler means he will be a felon for life. Chances are that neither possibility will come to pass, and the obviously irrational fear, while still concerning, is a reminder to turn ourselves and our children over to the Lord.

Our rational fears are motivation. They motivate us to be better parents, to work harder, try harder, and raise our children better. They help us to be better people than our fears say we are. They help us see true physical problems when there is, indeed, something amiss. Sometimes the fears prod us into action when we would otherwise flop in indecisiveness. Being “just a worrying mother” is certainly cause for a smile because we all know that we can take it past the line of reason; however, that does not make it an insult either. Rather, it defines a vocation that is built on the effort required to raise concupiscence-prone souls into faithful men and women. If that is not a fear-inducing job to tackle, then nothing is!

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Is there actually anything wrong with being a worrying mother, or is this simply one aspect of our vocation? #CatholicMom

The next time someone laughs at an irrational fear you have or comments that you are “just being a mom,” laugh with them because it is probably true. Then take a moment to thank the Lord for giving you someone to love to such an extent that you can fear for them. Many lonely people wish they had family to love and worry over, while many of us Catholic moms are blessed with more love and family than we ever expected!

We are quite blessed to be worrying mothers and can rest assured that we are keeping company with many of the motherly saints as well, who surely shared the same concerns. Hopefully we can do as well as they did and let our worries shape us into better wives, better mothers, and better souls.

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