Lean Into the Heart of Jesus

Christine Johnson focuses on the moment during the Last Supper when Jesus takes time to calm John's troubled heart.

Of all the Apostles, St. John was the youngest. We don’t know his exact age, but he was probably in his early 20s when Jesus had his Last Supper with the Twelve. He and his brother James were among the first followers of the Lord, and in the Gospel attributed to John, he is called “the one Jesus loved.” I’ve always imagined that this affection Jesus had for John was rooted in John’s youth—that Jesus took John special care of John during the three years they traveled together.

The Last Supper is a time that we can see this special love between Jesus and John. After an entry into Jerusalem that felt like a huge triumph, Jesus has several conflicts with the scribes, pharisees, and even the high priest and his council. By mid-week, Judas has gone to the high priest and promised to deliver Jesus to him.

But at the beginning of the Supper, Jesus has not yet revealed this to His Apostles. Only He and Judas know. And then Jesus reveals that He knows that one of the Twelve—His innermost circle of friends—will betray Him and turn Him over to be killed. The room erupts into chaos, with almost every Apostle talking over each other, each wondering aloud if he inadvertently betrayed the Master.

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John then leans over to Jesus. In my mind, he is so troubled and afraid that he can barely speak. I imagine John leaning, and Jesus putting His arm around the young man to comfort him.

This is the moment that I push pause on.

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When life is getting hard and I feel like everything is chaotic around me, I imagine myself in John’s place, leaning into Jesus, putting my head near His heart. #catholicmom

When life is getting hard and I feel like everything is chaotic around me, I like to imagine myself in John’s place, leaning into Jesus, putting my head near His heart. I imagine the steady lub-dub against my ear, offering steady comfort as Jesus puts His arm around me and gives me a gentle squeeze. In my mind’s eye, I just let my cares and worries melt away as Jesus holds me, maybe even rubbing my back to offer extra comfort.

And this usually calms me down and lessens my anxiety. It’s a strategy I highly recommend to everyone. Put yourself with Jesus (or Mary!) and be comforted. Close your eyes and make it as real as possible in your mind’s eye.

Lean into the Sacred Heart of Jesus and find peace.

Last Supper (Giotto)