Leaning Into the Discomfort of Trust

Kristina Talbot recalls how a recent professional development day lent itself to learning more about trust than she planned.

“Remember this feeling” was all that ran through my mind in that moment. I was terrified, paralyzed, exhilarated and liberated all at once. And then I leapt off the pole from which I stood that was about thirty feet above the ground and reached towards the apparatus to hit it with all my might. The next thing I knew, my feet were on the ground, and I was okay.    

I’m not sure if you have ever participated in a ropes course, but I highly recommend it after a recent professional development day out of the office. Elements vary, but low and high ropes courses can be found all over, and it had been many years since I had participated in one.   

Praying about the need to trust

This experience hit different. In the days leading up to this outing, I had been praying through the notion of trust. In a moment of authenticity, I acknowledged that complete trust is something I have avoided many times. This revelation was despite the knowledge that things are typically best when we lean into trust even when there is discomfort.    

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely; 
In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5) 

 Trust encompasses so much more than our common vernacular appreciates. Trust requires letting go and allowing someone else to take the reins. It requires belief that the one in whom you trust will protect you and follow through on their word. It requires vulnerability and acceptance of unknown outcomes, and it requires that you have faith.   

Have faith like a child

“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, 
You will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) 

As Catholic Christians we are encouraged to have faith like a child. But what happens when the people we place our faith in, fall short? Or perhaps, the people who were supposed to take care of us, missed the mark in some way. It is important to validate that many of us have reasons which make total trust challenging. Yet most of us also have evidence that when we do trust, we land on solid ground.  

Surely, I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, 
Draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, 
Sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps, 
And puts a new song in my mouth, a hymn to our God.  
Many shall look on in fear and they shall trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40: 2-4) 

That day out of the office, climbing up a pole several feet off the ground wasn’t the hard part.  Relying on people to help hold me up, was foreign to the very fiber of my being. There was a pit in my stomach when I realized that at 30 feet above the ground there is no turning back. The best option available in that moment was in fact, to trust.    

As women and mothers, we can become so accustomed to taking care of others that it is easy to neglect our own needs. Over time, this can morph into a false notion that “I have to do it, or else.…” Yet the Lord has promised otherwise. His plans are for our welfare, and He has also placed people in our lives willing to extend themselves in support of our needs. It can feel so vulnerable to ask for help and to lean into support; yet it is also important that in our willingness to do for others, there is grace when we allow others to do for us.    

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the Lord—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) 

We are made for more than we realize

In the moment before I jumped off the pole, there wasn’t time to think about how much trust I was placing in the people holding the ropes. I just remember feeling terrified, paralyzed, exhilarated and liberated all at once. As unnatural as it felt to jump, it also felt as if I was made to fly. Perhaps, we too are made for more than we realize. Maybe our discomfort is there to let us know that the next thing to do to take that leap of faith and just soar.     

They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength; 
They will soar on eagle’s wings; 
They will run and not grow weary, 
Walk and not grow faint. (Isaiah 40:31) 

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Copyright 2024 Kristina Talbot
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