'Love Pranks' and the Generosity of Saint Nicholas

Megan Cottam reflects on balancing giving and receiving with her children this holiday season.

This past fall, the gift catalogs from various companies started rolling in through the mail. “Mommy! Mommy! It’s here!” In a rare moment of shared enthusiasm and cooperation, my children tore through the pages of each ad. I watched with both curiosity and horror as their highlighters saturated the pages with “wants” and “absolutely-need-to-haves” — items that, a few minutes prior, they had no idea existed.

We adults react to ads that scroll past our feed the same way. Travel ideas, family organizational products, couples’ journals, and even religious resources inundate us with what we “absolutely need to have” to live our best life. It can be overwhelming, and December does not make this easier. We are encouraged to make wish lists, and we encourage our children to do the same, potentially growing this temptation to receive.

As we approach the Feast of Saint Nicholas (December 6), I am finding a challenge in this year’s message: Will I participate in the receiving end of Saint Nicholas’ gift, or will I seek to become more like him, and teach my children the same?

Here are three things I’m striving to teach my children (and myself) this year in light of this saint.

Building awareness of community need

Once a week this month, we are asking these questions of our family:

Who have we witnessed who is going through a tough situation?
Who has blessed us, and we wish to give something in gratitude?
Have we seen anything that needs to be improved in our school/neighborhood/church/community where we have a unique position to help?

Saint Nicholas listened for concrete and specific needs and then was able to act in generosity. Through these questions we are hoping to build an awareness of need, where we can empower our family to be generous with our time, talent, and treasure. Oftentimes, I have found that my helplessness is simply a lack of intention or creativity, and having regular conversations helps focus everyone in a way that leads to simple, but powerful actions.

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Finding joy in “Love Pranks”

When my daughter was in preschool, she used to make something homemade, throw it under a door or into a room, shout “LOVE PRANK!” and then run away giggling. She found uncanny joy in surprising people around her with something she wanted to give. It is precisely this practice that I am attempting to foster as both my children age. While the temptation to receive is an easy trap in this season, there is a genuine joy in giving.

To foster the spirit of Saint Nicholas, we are making a “Love Prank Challenge” paper chain with a brainstorm of random acts of kindness that our kids can spread to their friends, teachers, and family. These can range from giving a hug, making a homemade treat or meal, or spending time with someone in need. Write each idea on a strip of construction paper and hang it near your Advent decorations for easy visibility.

Where there is love and intention, the burden of giving disappears. As a family, we have a mission, and these challenges help us generate enthusiasm as we seek to spread joy.

Recognizing the blessings in our gifts

Finally, we must admit that there are times when we are in need, and that great blessings happen when our neighbors and friends support us. This posture of receiving with grace is also important for us as a family. Our goal this season is to focus on the gifts in our life that go beyond wrapped, physical items. At dinner (or in the car between events, depending on the pace of the day), we are asking ourselves the question, “What have you received today?”

Our children have started to realize that they received a friend who wanted to play a fun game at recess, encouragement from a teacher, or help from a family member. We say a prayer in thanksgiving for our blessings. Since we have started this practice, I have noticed our list has grown. It turns out that the more you seek to find the blessings in your day, the more they appear.

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Saint Nicholas shared with generosity what he could for those in need. This holiday season, may we gain the vision to share what we have freely and joyfully with others, and thank God for the blessings that others share with us.

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