Loving Our Enemies Without Casting Pearls Before Swine

Monica Portogallo shares some insights on living out Jesus’ most difficult command. 

Jesus said to his disciples: “To you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. To the person who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other one as well, and from the person who takes your cloak, do not withhold even your tunic. Give to everyone who asks of you, and from the one who takes what is yours do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:27-31) 

This passage is arguably the most difficult command Jesus gives us in Scripture. It seems to fly in the face of justice, logic, and good sense, yet somehow, deep in my heart, it rings true as the ideal I should pursue.  

In my case, I feel called even further to strive to live out this passage because I literally vowed before God to love the person in my life who has mistreated me the most. Although I anticipate that vow being declared invalid through the process of annulment in the near future, this command in Luke 6 remains the inerrant Word of God.  

At the same time, living out this passage in a strictly literal sense sometimes is not to the higher good of anyone involved. Sometimes people ask us for things that are not good for them: the toddler who asks for matches to play with, the middle-schooler who asks a parent to do their school project for them, the addict who asks for money to support their habit. To give any of these people what they ask is by no means an act of love.  

I am still figuring out how to truly live out Luke 6, although I have gained a few insights over the years on how I should implement it in my life. 

Detachment and Letting Go  

For me, a big part of living this out in real life means being less attached to possessions and even intangible pursuits, like the desire to be right. When someone takes something from me, my life doesn’t become consumed with getting it back. When I let go of the need to go tit-for-tat with someone who hurts me, I can move on without the need for revenge taking over my life. I may still take steps to seek justice — I will still file a police report if someone steals my car — but I will not make looking out for what is rightfully mine the focus of my life. 

Love Is Not Indulgence  

When we truly love someone, we want what is best for them in the long run. Sometimes what is best in the long run is not what that person asks of us. Particularly, giving people what they want to make them stop bothering us or so that we look good can hardly be described as an act of love.   

Recently, when I resisted a relative’s increasingly excessive and inappropriate requests for my time and money, she replied, “You’re a good Christian woman; you’re supposed to be generous!” I knew for certain then that giving her what she wanted would not be about loving her, but about my pride and reputation.   

Let God Do His Job  

Still, I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to figure out exactly how to live Jesus’s command to love those who mistreat me. In the meantime, I will seek to do God’s will and let God take care of the justice part.   

He’s better at it anyway. 

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Copyright 2025 Monica Portogallo
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