Marriage in the Flu Season

Caitrin Bennett reflects on our marital vow to love our spouses “in sickness and in health.”

The Year of Sickness

Last August, my youngest son got a cold. It was nothing too serious, just your typical runny nose and cough. But that little cold kicked off about nine months of sickness in the Bennett household.

I really don’t think an entire week went by without at least one member of our family being sick or in pain for one reason or another. Most of the time, it was a head cold passed from child to child, or the baby feeling miserable as he grew yet another tooth. However, there was also some bronchitis and roseola in there, and a few of us even caught the dreaded Virus that Shall Not Be Named.

One night when I couldn’t stop coughing, I moved to the guest room to let my husband Chris get some sleep. When he got up for work at 5 AM, Chris found me searching through the bathroom closet for more cough drops. I hadn’t slept more than an hour or two the whole night, and it showed. Chris took one look at me and called out of work.

I could’ve made it through that day home alone with the kids if I absolutely had to, and I would’ve felt bad even asking him to take the day off for me. But I didn’t have to ask: Chris just knew.

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In Sickness and In Health

In 6.5 years of marriage, Chris and I have seen each other at various levels of sickness and health. I have learned that he’s a bit of a hypochondriac: our thermometer gets lots of use! Meanwhile, he has to put up with me stubbornly insisting I am fine and refusing to cancel plans when I am clearly sick. We each know the telltale signs that the other is starting to get sick or that something the other ate is not sitting well. We have learned how to be better helpmates to one another in our times of illness and injury.

At our wedding, Chris and I vowed to love one another “in sickness and in health.” Blessedly, neither of us has been seriously ill, but this vow is also relevant for smaller illnesses and injuries. In Jesus’ parable in Matthew 25, we see that the servant who was faithful in small matters will be trusted with greater matters. With this in mind, I wonder if maybe God is using my minor cold or Chris’ pulled muscle to train us for greater matters in the future.

Click to tweet:
The care you show to your beloved in their weakest, grossest moments is another step in your vocational journey. #catholicmom

Loving your spouse “in sickness” can be frustrating (man flu, anyone?), exhausting, and frankly even disgusting sometimes. Just remember that the care you show to your beloved in their weakest, grossest moments is another step in your vocational journey. Each hour of sleep lost to their coughing, each day of work missed to let them recover; these themselves are solid stone steps on our personal staircase to heaven.

We have been mostly healthy around here all summer. Now that it is October, though, we have decidedly entered flu season, and I have a feeling the “in sickness” part of our marital vow is coming for the Bennetts again soon. Pray for me to be a humble and loving servant to my husband and children when they need me, and to have the grace to let them serve me, too.

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