featured image

Dr. Laura Radziwon reflects on the fragility of marriage and how to use the new year to prioritize protecting marriage.


A few weeks ago, I was sitting at an airport bar with a salad, a glass of wine, and a parenting book. I only got through a few pages of the book before people commented on the book title (Raising Lions by Joe Newman) and we got to talking about parenting and marriage. It turns out, two of the individuals who spoke to me were women who were both in their 50s with teenagers. One woman was recently married for the third time to the love of her life after two bad marriages. She has a 15-year-old stepdaughter and was seeking advice on how to manage the relationship between her, her husband, and her stepdaughter.

The second woman who spoke with me was a devout Catholic, found herself in the middle of a divorce that she did not want, and was figuring out how to handle it with her two teenage children. The second woman and I were able to talk about the graces of marriage when it is at its best, how children amplify marital strengths and weaknesses, and God’s plan for the sacrament of marriage. It was such a great conversation between us three women in different stages of our lives. From these conversations, I walked away with one big realization:

Marriage is fragile.

It is probably one of the most fragile relationships that one can have. Marriage can be so easily broken, hurt, and fractured when there is miscommunication, unhealthy behaviors, unshared belief systems, or even when there is unresolved conflict from an individual’s past or childhood. One big decision can change the course of a marriage and family.

 

null

 

Although marriage is fragile, fragile doesn’t mean weak. Something that is fragile simply needs to be treated with care, love, and protection. Unfortunately, love alone cannot protect the fragility of marriage—a marriage, and anything else that is fragile, needs to be built up and cared for by numerous things. For example, a fragile package typically has a “fragile: handle with care” sign on it, a few layers of bubble wrap, and packing paper to keep it protected. Likewise, a marriage needs open, constructive, and kind communication; steadfast commitment; regular forgiveness; and continual prayer.

Marriage is only fragile because it is made up of sinful, imperfect human beings. Because marriage is so fragile, it takes the commitment of a covenant—a sacrament—to choose to stay and work together to help each other to Heaven. Marriage is fragile, but it is not for the faint of heart.

Protecting marriage as if it were fragile doesn’t just benefit the couple, but benefits the whole family unit. Research shows that parents who are both present, share household responsibilities, and put their marriage first tend to have children who have secure attachments in future romantic relationships, understand how to have positive communication and decision-making skills, and even have better academic outcomes.

 

Click to tweet:
Because marriage is so fragile, it takes the commitment of a covenant—a sacrament—to choose to stay and work together to help each other to Heaven. #catholicmom

As we are at the beginning of a new year and people around the world are making resolutions, finding their “word of the year,” and creating goals for themselves and their families, I urge you make a goal to prioritize your marriage and write down what that looks like for you and your spouse. For example, my husband and I are choosing to focus on three main ways to protect and prioritize our marriage:

  1. Daily prayer together via a marriage devotion book, such as 30 Days With Married Saints.
  2. Focus on showing each other love via the other’s “love language.”
  3. Weekly date nights, even at home, without phones.

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do … but how much love we put in that action. (St. Teresa of Calcutta)

 

Here’s to having a fragile marriage and protecting it as such.

 

null


Copyright 2023 Laura Radziwon
Images:
This article contains Amazon affiliate links, which provide a small compensation to the author of this piece when purchases are made through the links, at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting our Catholic Mom writers in this way.