Meeting Jesus Face to Face

Helen Syski speaks to those who are suffering: you are meeting Jesus face to Face.

Suffering is deeply personal. It touches us in places and in ways that simply cannot be understood by another. Each human soul, while sharing so much, is also unfathomably unique. The same externals are experienced differently by every soul. The deeper into a soul you go, the more preciously different it becomes. Suffering is primarily interior, with each new layer touching a soul more personally.

Suffering offered to God on the altar of life brings great graces. We are to carry on, an Easter People filled with unshakeable peace, through the turmoil of the world. A soul infused with supernatural grace can radiate joy in the midst of the unthinkable. Suffering is a kiss from Jesus; all things gifts from God. The blood of the martyrs has watered the seed of the earth.

And yet …

Theology turns thin when we are faced with real suffering. Platitudes, old tomes and stoic martyrs do not quell pain or bring peace or return a loved one. How then can a soul find its way? Where is the Heart of God?

Real suffering is Jesus inviting us to meet Him face to Face. To put away the trappings of religion, the ponderings of theologians, the spiritual reading. To put away these veils that allow us to keep Him at a comfortable distance. He is taking your head lovingly in His wounded bleeding hands, pressing His forehead to yours, loving You, there with You, asking you to know Him, to meet Him, face to Face. He is looking deeply into your eyes, soul-to-Soul. He gives not a communication of words, nor ideas, but the inner knowledge of Another. He wants in—to your depths. Often so deep, we did not even know it was there. We look Him in the eye, touch His bloody sweat, feel the weight of the cross on His shoulder, hear His ragged breathing. It is the only way to know that the question of suffering has an answer so Powerful, so Good, that Jesus Himself chose it. It is the only way to know He loves us.

So often we are told when we are suffering that we are complaining. That it isn’t really that bad. Look at all these other people who are suffering worse than you. Aren’t you a Christian? You should be JOYFUL in all your pain. If you were holy, you wouldn’t be like this. These voices may come from without—or from within.

And yet …

Jesus was not smiling and cartwheeling and high-fiving disciples as he carried the cross to Golgotha. He did not tell the weeping women that it would all be all right, so laugh and be joyful. He did not carry the cross by Himself. He did not attempt to “fake it till you make it.” He could not. He was too weak. So weak, that He died long before the others crucified with Him (John 19:31-33).

It is wrong to make cheerfulness a measure of holiness. It is wrong to make sadness and exhaustion a sin. Jesus Himself wept and slept; He has sanctified it. It is wrong to reject and suppress our struggle, pain and doubt. It is wrong to keep it from God in our prayer as though it was a dark and unacceptable part of our soul.

Saint Faustina thought she had given all of herself to Jesus when He said to her,

“My daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours… Daughter, give me your misery, because it is your exclusive property” (Diary of Saint Faustina, 1318).

When we reject our suffering, it becomes a wall between us and Jesus. Give it to Him, do not hide it from Him. He wants to be Present, as only He can be, but we must accept Him fully into all our misery. Everything we keep from Jesus we chain to ourselves, and then we wonder why we are sinking!

Click to tweet:
When we reject our suffering, it becomes a wall between us and Jesus. #catholicmom

I have come to find that there is a place in a soul so secret and deep and silent, that it is easy to pass over it. And yet, it is this place where a soul can be deeply at peace, even joyful, while every other place within is roiling with chaos, fear, and pain. This is the secret room, this is the silent answer. Trust Him. He is there, working beyond your senses. Pray beyond your senses. God needs only your surrender. Let Him be free to work, to bypass your brain, to bypass your emotions, to work deep in your foundations. It is only for a time. Our pride wants to know why, wants to know exactly what He is doing, wants to have an aha! moment. Let it all go and leave Him to work as silently as He desires.

Let God hold you. Be little; let Him be big. Let go of control. He does not need your forced smile. He does not need your stoic face. He does not need your litanies and Rosaries and careful diary entries. He needs your honest, bare little soul in his hand, in all her misery, so that He can breathe His life into her.

Copyright 2022 Helen Syski
Images: Canva Pro