'On IVF' Peeks into the Heart of Third-Party Reproduction

Roxane Salonen reviews “On IVF,” by Stephanie Gray Connors, a Catholic mother and wife who understands the topic both personally and professionally.

On IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)

By Stephanie Gray Connors

Published by Word On Fire

The topic of invitro fertilization (IVF) first caught my attention 25 years ago when a friend shared about her IVF journey. It was one of those subjects I feared investigating, because on the surface, it seemed a reasonable response to infertility. But I was also aware of the Church’s cautionary stance. 

Because I knew the Church is not ignorant of the dilemmas we face in the modern world, I turned to the Catechism, which helped me begin to understand. 

In Donum Vitae, the Church compares IVF to abortion, noting that “through these procedures, with apparently contrary purposes, life and death are subjected to the decision of man, who thus sets himself up as the giver of life and death by decree.”  

At age 10, in 1978, I watched a news story on TV about the world’s first “test tube baby,” Louise Brown. Who could have guessed then that within several decades, millions of children in our country alone would be conceived through artificial means, and millions more would die in the process. 

It can be tempting to stay ignorant on the topic. We value the individuals created artificially as much as those conceived naturally. But the conscience demands understanding, and in her new book, On IVF, Stephanie Gray Connors offers a charitable, thoughtful way into this tender subject. 

A Gentle, yet Truth-filled, Approach 

Conners, who has experienced infertility herself, approaches the topic with sensitivity, while not mincing the truth.  

After laying out the case chapter by chapter, she offers common questions in the back section, including, “If you had to summarize the reasons to object to IVF, what would they be?”  

Her answers? IVF is wrong because it harms and kills some human beings; involves practices that violate the nature of parenthood; treats humans as commodities; divorces sex from the creation of life, replacing a married couple with a scientist at the child’s inception; and contrasts Scripture regarding God’s design for marriage, sexuality and reproduction.  

Each point is discussed in depth in the book, relatively short at 125 pages, but I came away with some additional takeaways.  

In the “Narrowing the Parameters” chapter, Connors notes that with IVF, we are forcing someone into existence, whereas in natural conception, we are receiving someone whom God brought into existence.  

The “control” we have over what our child, if conceived, will be ends at the sexual act in natural conception. We don’t manipulate the process; rather, we wait and pray, allowing God to do his secret work.  

As Connors illustrates, with IVF, the surprises are few, but the dangers, many. 

Beautifully, her book addresses not only what’s wrong with IVF, but solutions for those struggling with infertility, such as NaPro Technology, a natural and scientific method that helps couples achieve pregnancy. Connors and her husband were two of the beneficiaries of this science-based method.  

Opposing IVF is about opposing the manufacturer of image-bearers, but it is not about opposing medical advancements and intervention. (Stephanie Gray Connors) 

Unlike the IVF industry, a multi-million-dollar operation profiting off people’s grief, Connors points out, natural methods offer remedies that respect moral concerns while often addressing underlying health problems commonly overlooked in traditional medicine.  

Additionally, she notes, pregnancy achievement in these methods is actually statistically much more effective than expensive IVF procedures, which can be hard on the woman’s body. 

"Growing Underneath our Mother’s Heart"

Regarding the means of conception, Connors summarizes that “Sex unites; IVF separates.” A child conceived by IVF comes into the world alone, she adds, but with natural conception, “Our very start involves never being alone,” and “from the beginning, we are growing underneath our mother’s heart.”  

“Creating human life outside the mother’s body puts the youngest of our kind in a dangerous place where they could be — and many times are — harmed,” Connors writes, noting that without the harboring of the mother’s body to protect the embryo, those individuals are vulnerable in a way God did not intend. 

Additionally, agonizing mix-ups have occurred, along with embryos inadvertently becoming damaged in transit. 

I love how Connors makes the connection between how Jesus came into the world, and how God intended for us to. 

"Notice that when Jesus did enter the human experience, he still did so enveloped within the body of his mother,” Connors writes. “There still was a communion of persons. He was beneath her heart. There was mystery, receptivity, and a sense of the sacred,” all of which are missing in IVF.  

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Copyright 2025 Roxane Salonen
Images: Canva