Parenting With Perspective

Holly Dodd finds hope and encouragement in the wisdom imparted by mothers with real life experience.  

When all my children were young, I sometimes felt like I was drowning. I was blessed with a local support system, but what brought me the most hope when my kids were little was my homeschooling groups. There were many things I loved about these groups, but the primary reason for attending was for my children: these groups offered opportunities for community, fellowship, and socialization.

Homeschool Groups are For Moms Too

I thought the co-ops and homeschool groups were just for my kids, but it turns out they were for me too. What I didn’t know I needed at the time was the priceless organic encouragement from the older moms who were simply living their seasons of life out loud. As I grew through the seasons of parenting, it felt like as soon as I had something down, some new challenge was just around the corner in the next season. Parenting infants is so different from parenting toddlers. Parenting little people is a game of its own, and I was compounding that with more infants and toddlers. Then my older children were approaching middle-school age, and that was something entirely different as well. Parenting can be challenging!

It was the onset of parenting the teenage years that really sent me intentionally seeking the wisdom of those older mamas. I’ve been blessed to raise teenagers who, more or less, seem to make pretty good decisions. They are kind humans, they love Jesus, and they love one another –even when sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Even so, sometimes their behavior baffled me. Sometimes they seemed to need more than I had to give. Sometimes — usually — I just needed some perspective. I desperately needed encouragement.

Ten Years’ Experience Provides Perspective

I found the sweet spot to be the mamas who were around ten years older than me, or who had children ten years older than mine. Once I realized how much I needed them, I would actively seek out coffee dates and time alone to glean wisdom from these experienced mothers.

I have a dear friend who I grew close with when my oldest children were teenagers. I adored her. She was calm and peaceful. She was faith-filled. She had a lovely home. She also had many children, most of whom had moved out of the house by then. At the time I first met this friend, my oldest (of, then, nine children) was seventeen and my youngest was one. I “had my hands full” you might say.

“In the Thick of It”

“You’re in the thick of it,” she would tell me over and over again, always with a smile, encouraging me to give myself grace. Eventually I listened, and looking back, she was right, I was in the thick of it. I see it now, but then, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. She knew firsthand what it was like to be “in the thick of it,” and she was safely on the other side. I cannot speak highly enough of the encouragement she gave me in that season. I could ask her anything, and she normalized my experience as a parent time and time again. She reminded me to trust in God’s love for me and for my children. Most of all, she gave me hope. She was a wonderful friend.

Seek Out Friendships with Wise Friends

If you too are “in the thick of it,” find a companion to help you through it. Look for a friend who is just about ten years farther along in the parenting game than you are. It’s one thing to talk about toddlers with moms of toddlers, but it’s a whole different perspective to talk about your toddlers with someone who isn’t in that season anymore. The same can be said for middle-schoolers and the same again for teens. If you can find someone whose life is a little like yours, even better. Personally, I especially valued the input of my Catholic mama friends. I was blessed to have several friends who had parented a wide range of ages all at once, just like I did. That's a unique experience for sure!

You Can Be the Friend a Younger Mom Needs Today

Perhaps you are that friend some mama needs. I’ve found, that in my life today, even though half of my children are now adults, I still need the wisdom of those older mamas sometimes. But now, I can also be the friend, that loving reassurance, for younger mamas too. It’s a gift to get to be the friend I used to rely on.

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Copyright 2026 Holly Dodd
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