Passing on the Mission

Kristina Talbot shares how reflecting upon the mission given to her as a young person may apply in parenting her teen today. 

This morning, I saw the trail of one of our long, oversized blankets move past the entryway to our kitchen. Like most moms, I can identify a child by their blanket and thus I knew immediately which one it belonged to. As I recognized it as my teenage son’s blanket color, I immediately thought of the Imperial March from Star Wars. While most people who encounter him often are complimentary of how well-mannered he is and describe him as generally likeable, living with him can at times be likened to living with Darth Vader, especially in the mornings.  

Parenting is humbling 

It is extremely humbling to have a teenager after years of educating parents and working with youth. I naively thought that I would be well equipped to navigate this difficult season. However, with a teen whose moodiness is less predictable than the weather, I have found myself questioning everything from my abilities as a parent to my sanity as a person. I marvel at how someone I love so much can move me into an emotional place that is so harshly undesirable. 

“I do not know how to speak, I am too young!” But the Lord answered me, Do not say, “I am too young.” To whomever I send you, you shall go; Whatever I command you, you shall speak. (Jeremiah 1:6-7) 

There are many stories within Scripture where the Lord uses a teenager to do incredible things. From Jeremiah to David as well as Mary, the Lord did not refrain from identifying that young people have a tremendous capacity to do His work. Yet, when you live with a teenager, one’s vision of their capacity and potential for greatness can be clouded by their attitude and not always stellar decision-making. The question of “What were you thinking?!” is not uncommon. This makes it difficult to move past emotions of frustration and into a space of more productive engaging questions spoken in a calm voice such as, “Can you walk me through what happened?” 

Learning from Saint John Paul II's World Youth Day legacy

Saint John Paul II lit a fire within the Church throughout his papacy by the way he was able to engage young people. His legacy of World Youth Days continues to this day, and his words spoken directly to young people gives us a blueprint as parents.   

Young pilgrims, Christ needs you to enlighten the world and to show it the ‘path of life’. The challenge is to make the Church’s ‘yes’ to life concrete and effective. The struggle will be long, and it needs each one of you. Place your intelligence, your talents, your enthusiasm, your compassion and your fortitude at the service of life! Have no fear. The outcome of the battle for Life is already decided, even though the struggle goes on against great odds and with much suffering. (Saint John Paul II, World Youth Day, Denver 1993) 

These words spoken provided a sense of mission that is often lacking today when it comes to young people. The tide of consumerism has encouraged idleness rather than engagement. This can make parenting teens away from devices feel like a losing battle. And when you live with the volatility of mood swings and hormones, it can be exhausting to find the energy to keep trying.   

Your every act should be done with love. (1 Corinthians 16:14) 

Learning to be merciful with myself 

I’m learning to be merciful with myself especially when it comes to how I respond to my teen. There is no playbook that prepares us for parenting. Teenagers are masters at pulling us into their emotional firestorms and it can be so difficult to respond in love with our every action.   

At this stage of history, the liberating message of the Gospel of Life has been put into your hands. And the mission of proclaiming it to the ends of the earth is now passing to your generation. (Saint John Paul II, World Youth Day, Denver 1993) 

The reality is that I do not and will not always respond in the most holy and healthy manner, but I can look to the examples of the saints, Our Lady, and Our Lord for guidance on how to address the most precious youth in my life. As we connect to the mission we ourselves were given as young people, it can help us direct our steps as we navigate the journey with our own children. I don’t know what mood I will face from my teen this afternoon, but I do know that I may have to be the first to lay down the light saber and give him the hug he pretends he doesn’t want. Maybe that’s the start to mission alignment that we so need.  

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Copyright 2024 Kristina Talbot
Images: Canva