Persevere: The Changing Roles of a Mother

Now that her children are older, MaryBeth Eberhard ponders how the tasks of mothering have changed, but the call to persevere remains.

There was a time of parenting when my husband and I would get our eight young children ready for Mass. It was not an easy feat when they were all under the age of 10, with two of them using wheelchairs and needing some extra support. We had all the boys in their khakis and button-downs, and the girls in their dresses. Hair was brushed, faces cleaned, we marched them into the front accessible pew and took a breath, bracing ourselves for the Mass aerobics to come. “Keep persevering,” one of our dear priest friends would remind us, and so we did. 

We attempted to pray our Rosary as a family frequently, often falling asleep at the top of the stairs outside their bedrooms. We took them to Adoration (even in their bathing suits after going to the public pool, because Momma needed a moment with Jesus). Please imagine flip-flop and bathing suit-clad children with hair soaked to their head tip-toeing into the chapel after a day of swimming. I used to feel crazy in those moments, but I now see it as beautiful.  

Patient endurance attains all things. (Saint Teresa of Avila)  

Persevering in the Goal of Helping Our Children Know the Lord 

With the goal of raising our children in the faith and helping them to know the Lord, we pressed on. We read stories of saints, watched Catholic cartoons, visited shrines, sisters, missionaries, planted Mary and Joseph gardens, and opened our home to all and welcomed them as Jesus, trusting that we were instilling the faith the best we could to our children. 

It is often the unimagined scenarios that teach us the most about who we truly are and what we truly believe. As parents we assume that investing in the faith of our children will give the desired outcome. Exact input produces the same output or investment in exceeds expectations. But life does not work that way. Parenting certainly does not. God formed each of our children as individuals.  

There is a time in parenting when we must allow our children to investigate and explore their own faith identity. I used to think that time was Confirmation, but I now think it is earlier. Similarly, I strive to give my children more freedom while they are in my home so we can work through life lessons while they are still here under my roof. I used to take offense at the "why" questions, taking them as an indication of my children’s lack of faith and therefore my failing in imparting the faith to them.  

Called to Form Unique Humans 

The older I get and the more I experience motherhood, the more I realize that I am being called to help form unique humans, not cut-out copies of a mythical perfect Catholic child. The stories that live so richly in my own heart are the stories of the saints who wrestled with God and came to know Him through those seasons. We see the Lord’s steadfast presence working through all those stories and we can trust that He is working in the lives of our children and the lives of those we love as they find their own relationship with the Lord.  

It is gut-wrenching sometimes to watch them flounder, to see them unhappy, and struggling trying to find meaning, peace and happiness. This world offers so many fast but fleeting alternatives. Like a quick candy bar, the pleasure is short-lived and the hunger remains.  

I find myself once again back to my roots of pouring out for my children, only this time, prayer is the doing. What I wouldn’t give to change a diaper, offer them food, or rock them to sleep to ease their problems! And yet I have a new role, one that stretches me and grows me just as much as the earlier years, but it looks different. Now I make sure I get myself to Mass, where I am equipped to live out my vocation more fully. I speak Jesus to them through the words I speak to them and others, as well as the example I live out.

As mothers, our hearts may be pierced by the choices our children make along their journey, but we too are formed in the process and drawn closer to the Lord. May Saint Monica, who prayed unceasingly for her son Saint Augustine, teach us the necessary perseverance in our roles as parents as we grow.  

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Copyright 2025 MaryBeth Eberhard
Images: Canva