Pondering the Trust Behind ‘Mary, Did You Know?’

As she thinks back on the past year, Nicole Johnson reflects on the lesson she learns through one of her favorite popular Christmas songs.

It’s one of my favorite Christmas songs, the lyrics humanizing Mary’s reality and forcing me to ponder how much — if anything — Mary knew about the child she brought into this world. Within the simple verses, we find the outline of a life with immeasurable suffering yet, without asking why, how, or when Mary trusted everything to God’s will. In doing so, she gathered wisdom, mercies, and gifts simply unattainable any other way. 

What Do I Really Know?

The end of the year always leaves me considering how little I really knew about what would transpire over the course of twelve months. I am grateful that, in the midst of the many surprises, and even the things that somehow went according to plan, this Baby in the manger is the one constant that never leaves me questioning how things will end. I don’t know that I’ll ever be in a place where I accept God’s will with the beauty and grace Mary did, but in my own messy way, I’m trying.

I have a poster that hangs in my office which reads, “I have seen the goodness of God.” It’s written in big black letters on stark white paper. It’s messy and there’s no serene background picture that leads the mind to imagine that the “goodness” was necessarily easy to see or came wrapped in a perfect package. I love it because in its simplicity, the message can’t be ignored. For me, it’s this beautiful, and necessary, reminder in my moments of doubt and fear and anxiety that I’ve seen what God can do. And the best part is, I can’t unsee it.  

Worried About Many Things 

I’ll be honest in admitting I’m often a storm waiting to happen. I am fearful and anxious about many things and my worry leaves me distracted, impatient and searching for control. In thinking back over the past year, I admit that the worry did nothing to improve any of the challenging situations I found myself in (I’ll ask that you refrain from telling my husband I put that in writing). 

I recently heard it said that worry is not, in and of itself, a sin. It’s a human reaction, a reality that reminds us we are simply not enough on our own. I have to believe Mary worried about many things. But she had the faith to move forward despite the overwhelming unknowns that lay before her at every step. 

I write a Christmas letter each year and send it to friends and family with updates on our kids and major events that happened during the past year. In giving thought to this year’s letter, the words of this song kept coming to mind. As I watch our children grow — as I work my way through worry over each one of them — I am struck by the way they make me new over and over again.

Each in their own way, they somehow take this flawed mama who spends far too much time frightened about all she doesn’t yet know and beautifully prove time and again just how faithful and good our Lord is. It’s true: There is much I do not know. But it’s OK, because the One who knows it all has come to deliver me from the need to ask why, how, and when.  

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Copyright 2025 Nicole Johnson
Images: (center) copyright 2025 Nicole Johnson; all others Canva