Poor as Church Mice

Amanda Lauer offers a look at the early days of her marriage and how she and her husband managed to raise and educate their children on a single income.

If a person would’ve looked at the numbers on paper, they would’ve said that my husband John and I were crazy to consider sending our four children to Catholic schools.  

The numbers didn't lie

In 1984 when we welcomed Stephanie, our first child, into the world, my husband John was working at a start-up company, making something in the area of $5 per hour. We were determined to have our children raised with a stay-at-home parent, so I left the workforce. We broke ground on a brand-new starter home six months later. We knew we’d be living on a tight budget, but we were willing to accept that.   

Twenty months later our son Nicholas joined the family. The budget took another hit, but we had some supplemental income in the form of a stipend and free diapers from product testing for a local manufacturing firm. With our income, we qualified for WIC and received vouchers for healthy food for the kids, so that helped with the grocery bill.   

When I was pregnant for the third time, I started selling Tupperware, hosting in-home parties for friends and family. In 1989 our daughter Samantha was born and I worked my way up in the Tupperware ranks to executive manager. When we found out we were expecting again in 1991, I made the decision to step away from that demanding part-time job — which also meant turning in the company minivan — so I could focus on my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter Elizabeth. Another setback in our financial life.   

Making the decision to invest in Catholic school

In 1989, Stephanie turned 4 and was ready for preschool. As the only options at that time were private schools, she went to the Catholic school nearest our house. When it came time for kindergarten, we had to make a decision whether to continue sending her there or move her to the nearby public school.  

John had only gone to Catholic school for one year, so he would’ve been fine with either option. I, on the other hand, had attended Catholic school from first through eighth grade. I'd loved the experience and felt it had been a positive influence in not only my faith life, but my life overall. I was determined that our children should have that opportunity as well. And so began the journey of our four children attending Catholic grade school, middle school, high school (for three out of the four), college and, for one, grad school.   

In essence, other than some temporary money-making gigs here and there, I had the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom for 15 years before I went back to work part-time. We had an incredibly tight budget. I remember many mac & cheese lunches, countless oatmeal breakfasts when we couldn’t afford boxed cereal, scouring the local thrift shop, going to rummage sales, and buying hand-me-down clothes from friends who had children slightly older than our own. I was an avid coupon clipper and consummate final-clearance shopper.  

A sample budget from the early years of our family's life

Recently, I ran across our budget from 1992 for our family of six. Here are a few monthly entries:

• Food = $266
• Car Payment = $385
• Mortgage = $736
• Diapers = $36 (we supplemented with cloth diapers—with pins—as needed)
• Clothing = $60
• Dinners Out = $40
• Babysitter = $16.

Two things we didn’t skimp on: the 401K match through John’s employer, and our tithe, which was 10 percent of our gross income.  

I should note that we were seeing a Christian financial counselor at the time, and he advised us that we could count the cost of our tuition to Catholic schools towards our tithe. Otherwise, I’m not sure how we would’ve pulled this off.  

Money was tight, but we made it work

Money was tight, and there were times we really didn’t know how we’d come up with the tuition. We did qualify for some financial aid, so that helped. At one point when we were short and at the end of our rope, I reached out to our parish and they were able to help us. On another occasion, when our oldest was in middle school, a family in our parish anonymously paid for her entire tuition for one year. We may never know who that family was, but we’ll always be eternally grateful.   

When it came time for college, the kids applied to a variety of public and private colleges. Because of all the hard work they did in high school keeping up their grades, being active in sports and clubs, and working, all four received generous scholarships to the colleges of their choice. It turned out to be about the same price to attend Catholic schools as it would’ve been to attend public universities. John and I made the deal with the kids that they would take out all loans offered to them in their names, and we’d split the rest of the cost: they’d work each summer to pay the fall tuition bill, and we’d pay the winter/spring tuition bill.   

Ten years ago, our youngest graduated from college. All four not only graduated from esteemed universities: University of Notre Dame, University of St. Thomas, St. Louis University, and Marquette University, but they’ve all paid off their loans, and John and I came out debt-free.  

All those years ago, it would’ve been hard to even dream how well things would turn out. It took a complete leap of faith to take the Catholic-school path, but we’re so glad we did. It was literally one of the best investments John and I have made. Our children are living proof.   

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Copyright 2024 Amanda Lauer
Images: Canva