Prepare for Rest This Season: It CAN Happen!

MaryBeth Eberhard shares her past struggles in preparing for Advent and offers encouragement and advice for having less stress this holiday season. 

Advent is a time to prepare. This makes sense liturgically and also carries through with the needs of the holiday season. We prepare our hearts and we prepare our homes. In our home, we place purple wooden letters on our family altar which spell out the word PREPARE. This reminds me of that goal, but like finishing my Christmas shopping, that goal seems unattainable.

I find myself at a loss frequently with a deep desire to enter into the peace and wonder; to fully rest in the hope that this season offers, but struggling with the reality of the daily demands coupled with the additional preparations which leaves me feeling overwhelmed and drained!  This season I feel called to organize my time in a way that gives me moments, if not whole days, to rest in the peace of the Advent season.  

Preparing for rest  

Rest is something many of us struggle with. How many times has one of my children said, “Hey Mom, I really want …” and in my head I think, “Yeah, and I want a vacation in Hawaii!” That’s how rest often feels, so unattainable. But is it really?   

The Catechism teaches us,

Just as God rested on the seventh day from all the work he had done, human life has a rhythm of work and rest. (2184)

Human life has a rhythm. God gave us that rhythm and we can live a full and blessed life when we live in accordance with it. The season of Advent is made to draw us together, slow us down, and help us ponder and pray. The media marketing of the season is the exact antithesis of that. It makes us feel rushed, harried, and overwrought.  

Instead, we must be intentional and aware. My husband and I, for the first time in 22 years of parenting, made a spreadsheet of the gifts we are giving. We have suggestions for the children, for work, and for family. As we purchase, we check the items off. We have taken a look at the kids' lists and decided what we will be getting. My kids are older now, so they help me wrap as the gifts arrive. I have bags labeled for each stocking and those gifts have been wrapped, labeled, and placed so that come Christmas Eve, it is just a matter of placing inside each stocking. We shall see how this system works, but there is a peace with being intentional.  

Say yes to yourself  

 It sometimes feels selfish for me to be away from the family. There is so much time spent away as it is with work, carpooling, games, theater, dance, and lessons. Our family is blessed to homeschool, but even that has a purpose and many time commitments of classes online, labs in person and assignments that must be completed. However, in giving rest to ourselves we are giving peace to our family because we are a better version of ourselves when we are rested.

This year, I am saying yes to the women's night at church because I’d like to meet many of the new faces as our parish has grown. I am saying yes to an invite from a friend to a secret Santa gift exchange (I’ve always wanted to go to one of those). I’m attending our parish's Wednesday Adoration hour where Jesus is present and the church is dark, candlelit, and quiet.  

The Catechism continues,

Sanctifying Sundays and holy days requires a common effort. Every Christian should avoid making unnecessary demands on others that would hinder them from observing the Lord’s Day. (2187)

Planning for rest  

As I read this, I thought about the demands I put on myself during this season. All the decorating, baking, and social events that keep our calendar full. As a family, we are choosing to be very intentional with what we are saying yes to this season. 

The kids are hosting a night of cookie-making and movie-watching for their friends. We have chosen a few of our close friends and scheduled intentional meals with each one during Advent, even planning the meal ahead where we each know what we are bringing and what movie the kids can watch while we have time together! My heart feels happy knowing we will connect with these friends and share deep, faith-filled conversations.   

Being intentional with our rest  

Many lists have been made to help me be intentional with my time this season. Like a budget where every dollar is accounted for, so too is it helpful when we know where we are spending our time.  Even though those lists look like a lot of “doing,” what gives us joy can also give us rest. Fr. Mike Schmitz, in his Catechism in a Year podcast, reminds us that we can become slaves to the doing.

We need to break the cycle. I think being intentional will help. We are a work in progress and every effort requires one step forward.  I turn to the saints. Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross is known for saying, “God is there in these moments of rest and can give us, in a single instant, exactly what we need. Then you will be able to rest in him, really rest, and start the next day as a new life.”  

Rest is a need. Rest does not have to be a vacation. Rest is a choice and must be planned and intentional; whether it be long or short. Let’s commit to using this Advent to prepare a place for the Lord, through rest, in our hearts and in our families. 

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Copyright 2024 MaryBeth Eberhard
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