Purgatory Promises Hope and Healing

After losing a loved one in the worst way, Bonnie Drury finds hope in the Church's teaching about purgatory. 

The Catholic Church dedicates November to the faithful departed, including those who are still in purgatory. This is important in our church family, which includes the Church militant (earth), the Church suffering (purgatory), and the Church triumphant (Heaven). 

I have a very personal reason to be anxious about what is to come after death. Our 25-year-old grandson committed suicide a few years ago. The loss was so devastating that his father and I still haven’t spoken about it. Jake was the neatest, sweetest, funniest kid, always so enthusiastic about life, until drugs engulfed his world. 

What Does the Church Teach About Suicide? 

In trying to deal with his death, I remembered being told for most of my pre-Catholic life that anyone who commits suicide goes straight to hell. I really had a problem with that. I needed to know what the Church’s official teaching was on this subject. It is this:

We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2283) 

We cannot know what was in the mind and heart of anyone who takes their own life. We also do not know the full extent of Christ’s Divine Mercy. I picture Jesus waiting for each soul and asking, “Do you love Me?” just like He asked Peter, giving him three chances to respond. I know in my heart that Jake would say yes. 

God’s Mercy 

Those of us who have been through this kind of an unimaginable loss can have hope in God’s love and mercy. Pope Benedict XVI said that the choice of Our Lord in making Judas an apostle and companion

darkens the mystery around his eternal fate, knowing that Judas "repented and brought back the 30 pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, 'I have sinned in betraying innocent blood’" (Mt 27: 3-4). Even though he went to hang himself (cf. Mt 27: 5), it is not up to us to judge his gesture, substituting ourselves for the infinitely merciful and just God. (General Audience, October 18, 2006)

To be clear, suicide is a grave offense against God, who gave us life. We cannot support it as a valid solution for our earthly problems. This is about hope for those left behind. Our loving God wants us to know that we are not responsible. Our love could not prevent them from dying, the same as if they’d died from cancer. 

The Church has acknowledged that

grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. (CCC 2282) 

What Does This Mean for Us as Believers? 

It means that our obligation is to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) for those who have gone before us. I now include in my daily prayers “all those who have committed suicide.” Our prayers carry a great deal of weight, and we can use the power of prayer for the departed.   

As I remember my beautiful grandson and the light he brought to this world, I will never give up hope that I will see him one day in heaven. Never despair of the light of God’s Love and Mercy. 

Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. (The Requiem Prayer, used in a Mass of the Catholic Church, offered for the repose of the souls of the deceased). 

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Copyright 2025 Bonnie Drury
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