Remaining Like Children as We Care for Our Parents

Charisse Tierney shares how caring for her aging parents strengthens the roles of parent and child.

I’ll be moving my dad into long-term care soon. My mom was moved into memory care just a few weeks ago. Although they are still technically under one roof, my parents are no longer living their daily lives together after nearly 60 years of marriage. 

Their assisted living apartment has been emptied, along with the last shred of anything that evoked my childhood home. Along with my husband, I’ve taken on the role of being a caregiver for my parents. 

They will always be my parents. Our roles can never be reversed. The parent is the guardian and guide of the child’s soul. I am still their child, being shaped by the caregiving tasks that stretch me in new and unexpected ways.

Our Parents Teach Us Lessons to the Very End 

During a recent hospital stay, my dad requested that we pray a Rosary together. I honored his request and was graced with a reciprocity that continues to spiral into eternity. Just a few days ago, my dad had a Mass said for our family and asked that we attend the Mass with him. His request brought our family together, in communion with one another and with God. Without lectures, rules, or any semblance of authoritarian parenting, my dad deepened our prayer life and taught us the value of trusting in God through difficult times. Those are the kinds of lessons that are burned into the heart. 

As a caregiver for my parents, it sometimes feels easier to treat them, their things, and their memories as a commodity — as objects to be moved through their last days as comfortably as possible but with an emotional detachment that aids efficiency and veils vulnerability. 

Moments of Vulnerability Allow Every Parent to Shine

But it is in moments of vulnerability that some of their best parenting moments can be allowed to shine. It is moments of vulnerability that provide a safe space for prayer, for a shared story, for a life lesson that needs to be heard, or for a request for help that reminds everyone present of the great gift of humility. 

Spoon feeding my dad or helping my mom to the bathroom doesn’t reverse our roles of parent and child — it strengthens them. I am still showing them obedience, respect, and love. And they are still fulfilling their primary parenting role of softening my heart and shaping my soul. 

And my children are witnesses to this. 

They see my husband and I as we visit my parents, stay with them in the hospital, pay their bills, and take care of their life logistics. They see us talk with them, wait for them, and physically care for them. 

Sometimes they even see me cry as I grieve for the parents I used to know. 

But through all of the challenges, hopefully our children also see us persevere, and care, and grow.

Hopefully they see all of us, parent and child alike, bending low before the Lord as we allow our roles to transform us all into true children of God. The roles of parent and child can never be reversed, but when honored for what they are, we are all transformed into the little children that are sure to enter the kingdom of Heaven.

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Copyright 2026 Charisse Tierney
Images: Canva