Roots and Wings Side by Side

With a daughter at 16 years old and one at 16 months old, Jake Frost reflects on roots and wings and the surprise of the parenting journey. 

My oldest daughter is approaching 16 years of age.  

My youngest is about 16 months. 

They present interesting bookends for roots and wings. 

The almost-16-year-old is logging hours for her driver's license and making big plans for when she’ll fly from the nest. 

That makes a father happy. It’s nice to see your kids making plans, and nice to see them have the grit and grace to plan big.  

Why settle for small dreams? 

But best of all is seeing her work to make those plans happen. She’s got a calendar book and puts it to use.  

It’s as crammed full of notes and itineraries as her days are of activities. 

The little 16-month-old stays pretty busy, too. She loves to get her coat and boots and bring them to us for an adventure outside. First stop is her goat friends. The neighbors gave our Little Wonder a bag of goat treats to feed their goats, which she does at least once a day. After the goats, Little Wonder tours the yard to make sure the swings are in working order, the steps still lead to the top of the play tower, and the slide is still slippery — and to wave to all the birds as they fly by. 

Back inside she has her snack, stories, puppets, piano, and finally a nap.  

Good thing, because by then Mom and Dad really need it. 

Little Wonder will sleep just long enough to recharge her batteries so she’s at peak energy to greet her older siblings when they get home from school.  

And then she goes from brother to sister to sister to brother for all manner of hijinks, including the family dinner, where her favorite part is when we all pray together before the meal. 

Her seat at the table is next to her oldest sister.  

So there they are: big sister and little sister, separated by almost two decades, one ready to fly the coop, the other just starting out in the nest. 

Everything has its effect  

It makes me realize how valuable all the time and work and prayers and care that go into those early years are.  

I’m not quite sure how the transition happens, to becoming and independent soul ready and eager to venture out into the world, but all those bits from the early years — every snuggle, every interruption we parents allow into our own plans and days, and all the time and attention we give, every toddling walk across the grass with a little fist gripping our finger to help keep her steady as she goes, every family dinner, every question listened to and answered, every family Rosary — everything we give of ourselves, all go into it.  

Everyone always told me, and I always dismissed it, but now I’ll vouch for it: it goes so fast. 

Yes, there are days that seem long, but the years are short. 

The surprise  

What’s surprised me, now being on the tail end of the parenting journey, is the arc of development we parents go through.  

It’s not just the kids that go through a transformation. 

I used to think parenting was all about what we did for them.  

I don’t think so anymore. 

Like the saying that all good kids' books are really for the parents, I think all good parenting is good for the parents, too. 

We’re being formed by those same snuggles and interruptions and dinners and Rosaries.  

Every time we give of ourselves, something is happening in us, too. 

More and more, I see the beauty and the gift of parenting mingled amidst the driving and the laundry and the dishes.  

And I’ve been at it long enough now to finally see the first glimmers of the time at the other end of the roots, with its long hours and missed sleep.  

On the other side comes the time of the wings: the driving and laundry and the dishes fade away, but the beauty and the gift remain. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Jake Frost
Images: Canva