See Yourself Through the Eyes of Love

Cait Winters shares how her preschool daughter’s innocent comments led her to a new perspective on her vocation as a mom.

It was a chilly Sunday morning, and I was a young mom juggling two under three. I bundled up the kids and headed to Mass solo while my husband worked his eighth day in a row. I asked my oldest to help me wrangle the littles and prayed that things would go smoothly. Mass had been an exercise in humility trying to keep my 18-month-old boy from bouncing out of the pews. Not having my husband there as usual meant I was on my own this time.

I'd spent much of my time the previous week wrangling him, worried it'd be more of the same as we helped out with “Kids’ Church” for the preschoolers, which took place during the homily. By God's grace my teen was helpful, and the little ones were mostly angelic.

The children's group was held in our parish library. It was Advent, and the narthex was decorated with a grand, sparkling "Giving Tree." It glittered as it presided over tons of donated gifts and a beautiful nativity scene. The usual décor was also there, including my 3-year-old's favorite statue of a smiling Madonna & Child.

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A Sweet Comparison

As soon as she noticed it was still there, she gasped in girlish wonder, saying, "Aww! Look, Mommy, it's Mary & Baby Jeeesus!", to which I replied "Yes, it is!" Then she pointed to Mama Mary, one arm outstretched in welcome, the other holding her Divine Son, and said, "Look, Mommy, it's you!"

It's something she had said before. In fact, every time she’d walked by this friendly depiction, she said so. I recalled the first time it happened. I had excused myself from Adoration to let the kids get some of their squirmy energy out. My first reaction to her sweet comparison was to say, "Well, I don't know about that!" I felt less than reverent and holy as I simultaneously continued the Rosary I'd started in the chapel and followed them around in quick circles.

The second time she said it, we were sitting on some armchairs waiting for Mass to begin. I was bouncing her brother on my knee, holding out until the last moment to enter the quiet sanctuary. I'd spent that morning rushed and desperate for coffee — but this time, as not to discourage her tender heart, I took her hand and told her, "That's so nice of you to say!"

Inwardly, though, I groaned.

Another Angle

I knew I had to check this bristling of my heart. Why was I reacting to my precious daughter's innocent exclamation with exasperation? It wasn't because I resented the comparison to the Blessed Mother, whom I aspire to imitate in character and faith, but because I knew that I fell so short of the goodness she saw. I knew I was not the perfect picture of the mom I prayed to be — the one she thought I was. I knew I was flawed beyond measure, in no way resembling Our Lady in all of her spotless glory.

But when I brought this to Jesus in prayer, He whispered to my soul, "You're closer than you think."

So when she said it again that Sunday, I didn't sigh or roll my eyes. I knelt down to pull her close so she could hear me over the joyful noise of our little catechism group. I whispered a simple "thank you" into her ear before she giggled and skipped back to her coloring page. I looked up, into the eyes of Mother and Son, and smiled back at them.

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God Chose Me for My Children

Yes, I could have attributed my dear girl's comparison to the statue's brown hair or the fact that Mary always had her baby in her arms but the persistence of my sassy princess, even after many corrections, made me wonder if there was more to it. Perhaps it was God's way of reminding me of what He saw in me. Of encouraging me in my vocation through the heart of my precious child. Even though I'm not a perfect mother to this day, I am the mother God chose for them. And He doesn’t make mistakes!

Maybe you need this reminder too. That God, in His sovereignty, proposed for you to be the one to nurture and guide the children He entrusted to your care. If you embrace your limitations and look to God to be your strength, you will find that motherhood can be a training field of virtue. Within this demanding role as parent, there exists a great grace!

You’re given so many opportunities to serve, give, and grow in your faith in the midst of the everyday. If you embrace it, you will find that your imperfect motherhood can be the perfect place for God to perfect His work in you.

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