Seeds and Tears

As Jen Scheuermann reflects on her own life, she considers the relationship between the tears we shed and seeds we sow. 

Sowing while weeping 

I don’t remember the song title or even the lyrics; I only know it was my first time listening to Christian music. The song’s link was at the end of a CaringBridge post written by a woman I did not know. Her husband, whom I did know, had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, and it was clear from her post that their world had flipped upside down.   

I was no stranger to struggle; my own family was walking through an unwanted diagnosis at the same time. But I knew objectively their situation was far worse than mine. There was no mistaking the pain and deep sorrow in their hearts as I read her latest update, and I was certain many tears had been shed as the words were written. And yet, I could not miss that something else was laced throughout her words. Something I didn’t understand, but knew I wanted: an inner peace and persevering hope that called out to my own aching and faith-less heart.  

As a result of those written-through-tears CaringBridge entries, my own faith journey took off, and I soon encountered the Lord in a life-changing way. I later sent a letter to the woman who’d authored those entries, thanking her for bearing her heart as she shared their story. I wanted her to know that her words had changed the trajectory of my life, that the pain she’d endured and tears she had shed were not in vain. I wanted her to know that the seeds of faith she’d unintentionally dropped while her own heart broke had taken root deep in my soul, and I was eternally grateful.

Several years after sending that letter I was blessed to meet the woman behind the words, and as we hugged one another that day it was difficult to know whose tears were whose … but I do know, in that moment, ours were tears of joy.   

Those who go forth weeping, carrying sacks of seed, will return with cries of joy, carrying their bundled sheaves. (Psalm 126:6) 

Weeping while sowing  

I don’t remember the song title or even the lyrics; I only remember my tears. Tears that flowed freely as the worship song coming through my earbuds collided with the ache in my heart — all while I tried to fold the laundry. For years I’ve watched a loved one struggle with one issue after another, simultaneously praying for the day he finally meets Jesus. I’m not naive enough to think all his problems will disappear once he knows the Lord, but I’m certain that resting in his true identity as beloved son will only help to usher in the healing his heart needs and the peace he longs for.   

Dropping to the laundry room floor that day, I cried tears of hope — but sometimes this hope is painful. Sometimes this hope is mixed with sorrow and frustration. And sometimes this hope even feels hopeless, as I’ve spent years intentionally dropping faith’s seeds onto a path that often looks dryer and rockier than it did the day before. 

The song ended, and I took a deep breath, wiping my eyes. Picking up my phone, I switched to the Hope playlist I have created for moments such as this, and as one hope-filled song after another played, I was slowly reminded that my job is only to sow the seeds. It is the Lord who will bring the rain. And it is the Lord who will effect change in my loved one’s heart. Once again strengthened in my resolve to persevere, I turned back to the laundry, and clung to the Truth:  

Those who sow in tears will reap with cries of joy.  (Psalm 126:5) 

Sometimes I wonder what yields the greatest harvest. Is it when we live out our faith, sowing seeds without trying while enduring the pains of our broken world?  Or is it when we persevere, tirelessly sowing faith’s seeds even when doing so brings us to tears? 

I don’t know the answer. But perhaps it doesn’t matter. Perhaps the only thing that really matters is that regardless of our tears, we never stop living out our faith. And in the same way, that we never stop sowing. 

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Copyright 2025 Jennifer Scheuermann
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