Seven Things We Can Learn from Our Lady of Sorrows

Michelle Hamel shares the lessons she has learned as a mother from meditating on the Seven Sorrows of Mary.

Our Lady of Sorrows has become a special devotion in my life. The feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows is September 15th, and I wanted to honor her by sharing some things that I've learned from Mary's Seven Sorrows. 

The First Sorrow: The Prophecy of Simeon

Pictures of Our Lady of Sorrows show the seven swords that pierced Mary's heart over Jesus' lifetime. The first of those swords came from the prophecy of Simeon, who told Mary that her beloved infant will suffer and that her own heart would be pierced. Despite the fear and sorrow that Mary must have felt in that moment, she leaned into God and trusted.  

We've all had moments when circumstances in our life inject fear deep into our heart and we have the choice to turn to God or to self-protect and turn to other behaviors to try and cope (such as food, alcohol, or scrolling). Unfortunately, I often find myself choosing one of those behaviors. But through Mary's example and God's grace I'm learning to trust God more and turn to Him first, or at least more quickly, when life sends those zingers that hurt my heart. 

The Second Sorrow: The Flight Into Egypt

Mary left everything at a moment's notice after Joseph's dream that sent them fleeing to Egypt to save Jesus from Herod's wrath. I can imagine the fear and the deep loss the Holy Family felt as they left everyone they knew and everything familiar. But Mary still trusted and continued to step out in faith.  

We can turn to Mary for consolation and follow her example of having to create a life with less- than-ideal circumstances. Whether it's a move, loss, diagnosis, or other trauma that leaves us in unfamiliar territory trying to piece together and create a new normal, Mary understands us when situations place us on a journey we would not have chosen. 

The Third Sorrow: The Loss of the Child Jesus in the Temple

Mary's faith and calm in the midst of fear is an amazing example for us. Diligently searching for Jesus and filled with worry, Mary still leaned into God. And when she finally finds Jesus, Mary is honest, but calm, about her feelings. (I can say with certainty that my reaction would have come with a side of "freak out.") But Mary brought everything to God and "kept all these things in her heart" (Luke 2:51).  

That's what Mary encourages us to do. In hard moments, we are meant to pour out all our big emotions to God. Then He helps us to see His perspective so we can react with patience and love.  

The Fourth Sorrow: Meeting Jesus on the Road to Calvary

Mary teaches us to accompany those we love when they carry heavy crosses. Even though we can't take away their suffering, our prayerful presence can be the encouragement and comfort they so desperately need.  

Feeling as if we suffer alone makes any burden so much heavier. Maybe you can recall a time in your own life when a particular trial was lightened, even in a small way, through another person's thoughtful words or a kind gesture? I know I can. And while their action didn't take away all my pain, it did lessen the weight on my heart and let a little light shine into the darkness I was going through. 

The Fifth Sorrow: The Crucifixion

Mary gives us an example of unwavering faith as she stood at the foot of Jesus’ Cross and watched her Son’s Crucifixion. Mary did not despair but continued to trust in God through her pain and tears. She held firm to God and His promise that He would never leave us or forsake us even when the circumstances she was facing could have convinced her otherwise. 

We are given the gift of Mary's unwavering faith when we cling to God in tragic circumstances, when we lean into God even though our lives are falling apart and all we feel is darkness and brokenness.  

The Sixth Sorrow: Jesus is Taken Down From the Cross and Laid in Mary's Arms

In the midst of intense loss, Mary's eyes were only on her Son. Mary did not try to bury or distract herself from the pain by railing at the soldiers or the crowd that desired her Son's death.  Mary stayed in the moment and allowed herself to feel the deep grief piercing her heart. She continued to lay her heart before God and pour out all her brokenness for Him to hold.  

Mary reminds us that in times of great sadness and grief, it's important to pour our own hearts out to God. We aren't meant to stuff or ignore or rush through our hard feelings.  

The Seventh Sorrow: Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

This is my favorite of the Seven Sorrows because it gives me the greatest hope to cling to when I'm carrying unresolved brokenness and grief. Despite the way it looked, the story didn't end when the stone was rolled in front of the tomb. Mary never gave up hope as she walked away from the tomb. 

There was more. 

There's always more. Even when we don't really believe it. Even when all we see before us is an ocean of brokenness and all we feel is pain and grief. That's not the end of our story. God is still working. He has a plan, and His plan is good. 

I pray that Mary keeps each and every one of us wrapped in her mantle, especially in times of suffering. Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us! 

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Copyright 2025 Michelle Hamel
Images: (top, center) iStock, licensed for use by Holy Cross Family Ministries; (bottom) Canva