Share Your Families

Amanda Woodiel ponders the greatest gifts we give to one another: our authentic selves and our families. 

One thing I’ve come to realize is this: in an affluent culture like that which most of us in the United States inhabit, the only real thing you have to offer the people in your social circle is yourself. Unless you are really well off, what you can give to one another in the material sense is probably not going to make much of a difference. Friends might appreciate a $25 gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings, but it’s not going to change their lives.  

On the other hand, if you offer yourself, you very likely will change people’s lives. That is, if you humbly make a gift of your unique and authentic personality and if you sincerely inquire after and care for other people, you proffer something positive and powerful that no money can buy. That kind of invitation to relationship and that type of willingness to be vulnerable is what people thirst for. 

Families are a Gift to Share 

Moreover, if you are blessed with a family, your wealth multiplies. Families are mysterious, mystical even, in the sense that they image the Triune God. The home is the place of intimate connection, where “we” are “one.” As Pope Benedict XVI said in 2009 on the Feast of the Holy Family,

The human family, in a certain sense, is an icon of the Trinity because of its interpersonal love and the fruitfulness of this love. ... God is the Trinity, he is a communion of love; so is the family despite all the differences that exist between the Mystery of God and his human creature, an expression that reflects the unfathomable Mystery of God as Love.”

This means that your family is a unique and paramount gift to give to the world by inviting people to step into that intimate circle.  

The reason I ponder these things is because our family has very little materially to offer our friends and acquaintances; we’re usually on the receiving end of almsgiving. What we do have is a harmonious, usually joyful, faith-filled family. So what we have offered to people over the years is an invitation to step inside this little world of ours and share in it. We give them an experience of motherhood, fatherhood, and childhood. We try to invite anyone God calls to mind. We share dinner or dessert and spend a low-key evening in the company of our children. 

An elderly man from our parish came over one evening, and at the end of the night, he pointed a tobacco-stained finger at our children and told them, “You don’t know how blessed you are to have these parents.” The kids brushed the comment aside and went off to play, but he sat on the porch with my husband and me for a long time after, telling us of his childhood and earlier life, which involved domestic abuse, divorce, and a suicide. This man is quite poor (we often share our leftovers with him), but I think even he would say that the greater gift we’ve given him is time spent in the company of our family. 

Priests Need our Families Too 

A few months later, our [now former] parish priest came to dinner. A thorough academic, he grew up in a very affluent family and still retains his taste for fine things, which he didn’t encounter in the meal I served that night. After dinner, we built a campfire and sat around it, chatting. On that particular evening, the kids were interested in identifying constellations, and we spent quite a bit of time craning our necks toward the night sky, trying to match the configurations of the stars to what our app was showing us. It was a humble evening full of what families do, not the sparkling conversation he was accustomed to. Later he told me, “Thank you. I really needed that.”  

My kids have grown up to where we no longer have any preschoolers, toddlers, or babies, but a friend of mine from church who has them aplenty has been coming to our house occasionally. She thanks me for hosting them, but I tell her in all sincerity, “I didn’t realize how much I need babies and little kids in my life until you started coming over.” They bring chaos, of course, but also the gifts of childhood: joy, wonder, honesty. 

This is why, when I was sitting in on a formation night for students studying for their master of divinity degree, when the question arose of how we can help our priests be mentally healthy, I spoke up. “If you have babies, you need to share them. Share your babies. Share your kids. Share your families. Priests need families to be healthy.” The twenty-something students laughed a little at my middle-aged perspective, but I don’t think anyone thought I was wrong. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Amanda Woodiel
Images: Canva