Splinters, Beams, and Expectations

Laura K. Roland considers the importance of casting aside our tendency to be judgmental.

Leading up to today’s Gospel reading, we hear Jesus teaching about all manner of things—beginning with the Beatitudes and ending with this passage, Jesus is abundantly clear about how we are to live. Meekly, brightly, obediently, justly, prayerfully, free from worry, loving one another.

Today’s Gospel gives us a final sending forth message, one for the ages. “Stop judging.” When Jesus admonishes us to remove the beam from our eye before calling out the splinter in someone else’s eye, I picture a patient Father having a heart-to-heart with a child who still is learning how to behave. Or in my case, an adult woman who still expects the benefit of the doubt when I do something wrong but is quick to judge when someone falls short in the same way. Because I understand the circumstances of why I have that beam in my own eye: I made a mistake, I misspoke, I didn’t notice, I didn’t hear, no one told me, it wasn’t on my calendar, I was running late ... my actions are perfectly justifiable.

But when others do the same thing, all I see is how they fell short of my expectations. When Jesus asks me, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?”, I really don’t have a good answer.

I defensively sputter a few excuses because ultimately, deep in my heart I know the beam isn’t the offense: rather, it is my lack of love for my brother. The beam, that judgment, blocks my view of God in him. Only when we can see God in the other are we able to speak truth in love, helping them as patiently as the Father helps us.

Click to tweet:
Only when we can see God in the other are we able to speak truth in love, helping them as patiently as the Father helps us. #catholicmom

Who in your life needs the benefit of the doubt as you seek to understand the ways they are truly trying their best?

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