St. James and an Unlikely Pilgrimage

Shauna’h Fuegen shares her first in a two-part series on the impact of St. James in Christianity and in her life.

Have you ever experienced a saint grabbing hold of you and not letting go until you listen?

St. James entered my life in earnest about four years ago. I, of course, knew him as one of the twelve Apostles, but hadn’t paid him much attention until one of my favorite priests, Fr. Roderick Vonhogen, chronicled his journey of walking the Camino from Lourdes, France, to Santiago de Compostela, Spain. Through his podcasts I learned of the existence of ancient pilgrimage routes (the Camino de Santiago, or the Way of St. James) that led to the traditional burial site of this important apostle. Historical evidence supports the view that James traveled to Galicia, Spain as part of his evangelization efforts, and that his body was transported back there after his execution in Jerusalem at the hands of Herod Agrippa I in AD 44.

I was fascinated by the pilgrims’ journeys, both physically and spiritually. I felt a calling to St. James, an interest in learning more about him as a historical person, as well as the devotions he has inspired over the centuries. During a family trip to Lourdes in 2017, we stopped in Pamplona, Spain and walked a short stretch of the Camino through the city. I read about the life of James and enjoyed watching his depiction in the TV series The Chosen.

Flash forward to the summer of 2021, and my husband had been accepted into a masters-degree program in Zaragoza, Spain. After much research and prayerful consideration, we decided to make a leap of faith and move our family to Spain for six months the following year. It was a scary decision, but it felt right. Everything clicked into place in a way that only God could have orchestrated, complete with a bureaucratic miracle whereby our lost passport applications were found, processed, and returned to us within a week. My stomach was in knots about the logistics of the move, but I worked hard at putting my trust in God to make this happen if it was truly His will.

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On New Year’s Eve I pulled up Jen Fulwiler’s Saint’s Name Generator, as usual, to choose my patron saint for 2022. Some years I don’t see the wisdom of the randomly (but prayerfully) chosen saint until later in the year, but this year the generator immediately came back with … St. James. That’s right, Patron Saint of Spain, St. James the Greater. Friends, I laughed and laughed and was so grateful to God for His continuing consolations and reassurances that this Spain adventure was, in fact, exactly where I was meant to be. OK, St. James, I’m listening.

Evidence of St. James was everywhere in Spain. A subtle clamshell motif here, a St James cross there. His imagery is in just about every church. I encountered him most strongly in Zaragoza, site of the very first Marian apparition (and the topic of my August article for Catholic Mom: stay tuned!), and in Santiago de Compostela at the culmination of the Camino.

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My six-month inner pilgrimage across Spain was full of peaks and valleys. I lost my prayer routines, my linguistic confidence, and many aspects of myself as I struggled to adjust to living in a new country, working remotely while homeschooling my kids. I wanted everything to be perfect—I’d envisioned walking to daily Mass with the children, waking up at sunrise to pray, and finally finishing the Bible in a Year podcast. None of those things happened. In fact, my prayer life fell apart in a way it hasn’t in about 15 years. I fell apart.

I found God when I looked for Him (most notably during Semana Santa), but I often forgot to look; I was too consumed by overwhelm and struggle. Eventually I realized that what I needed more than a new cleaning routine or homeschool curriculum was to get back out of the driver’s seat, where I was white knuckling the steering wheel, and let God lead.

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St. James led me on a personal pilgrimage toward a stronger, more resilient relationship with God. #catholicmom

Our final five weeks were spent traveling around Europe, and I was blessed to have so many incredible opportunities to reconnect with God: I went to Confession at Sacré Coeur in Paris; participated in Evensong at Westminster Abbey in London; prayed in the Chapel of Apparitions in Fatima and, finally, attended Mass at the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela. Praying in front of the tomb of St. James was another highlight. Several people around me were brought to tears by their proximity to this great saint and friend of Jesus. Seeing hundreds of pilgrims arriving after completing their Camino journeys was very moving. What compels a person to put their body through so much exertion in pursuit of spiritual conversion? It was inspiring and humbling to watch.

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St. James led me on a personal pilgrimage toward a stronger, more resilient relationship with God. I am still unpacking (literally as well as metaphorically) the many lessons I have learned from my time abroad, and I know that growing pains will continue to plague me. But oh, what a buen Camino.