Summer Transitions for Military Moms: Five Ways to Thrive

Summer is moving season for military families. Army wife Elizabeth Tomlin shares tips for thriving during a PCS. 

Moving trucks have begun to appear in my neighborhood on Fort Sill Army Post in southwest Oklahoma. Summer in a military community means Permanent Change of Station (PCS) season. This season brings a lot of emotions: excitement about traveling to a new duty station; lament over leaving a community in which our children have made friends; anxiety about whether the household goods will survive the move in one piece (they probably won’t!); and stress about registering children for a new school, medical providers, sports teams, friends — new everything!

Somewhat paradoxically, summer transitions for military families also have many constants which stabilize us because we anticipate them. Our faith, our sense of service to our country, strength derived from our family, and even traditions of military life itself — the formalities of ceremonies and even informalities of spouse clubs — remind us that though our location may change, our service and military communities persist.

I’m going to share five suggestions for thriving during a PCS.

Prepare in advance; Persevere in the Chaos

As moving day approaches, gather important documents and valuables that you will move with you: passports, medical records, report cards, and family heirlooms. When the packers arrive, secure the items in your car or a closet clearly marked as “Do not pack!” I know several families whose kitchen trash cans were packed and shipped across country, trash and all, because movers do not discriminate. Everything goes!

Help Children Say Meaningful “See Ya Laters”

In military life, people don’t like to say "goodbye" because it feels permanent, so we say our "see-ya-laters." A meaningful send-off can be as easy as inviting the neighborhood kids over for popsicles. One year, I printed out pictures of the neighborhood boys for my son and all of his friends and put them in Dollar Store frames. Years later, one of my mom friends told me that her son still keeps the picture in his nightstand.

Maintain your Family’s Faith Practices

What are the rhythms of your faith life? For us, our bedrock faith practices are grace before meals, never ever missing Sunday Mass, and reading the daily Gospel reading. The great thing about our universal faith is that you can always find a Mass. When we are moving, I look on the map to see which Catholic shrines or cathedrals may be in our family’s path, and we always carve out time on Sundays to visit a Catholic locale of interest.

On one cross-country move, we were driving through an exceptionally flat part of the country, and we spotted a steeple in the distance. By chance, we ended up at a lovely Mass at a basilica in rural Kansas that had been founded by German immigrants. The Stations of the Cross with inscriptions written in German, and the bells and umbraculum marking the church as a basilica, gave my husband and me an opportunity to teach our young children something new about Catholicism in our country and the connection to Rome.

Wear your Own Shoes, Not Someone Else’s

I’d like to abolish the phrase, “She has big shoes to fill.” Military personnel often change jobs with a change of command or change of responsibility ceremony. The role of the service member is well-defined and known. Military spouses often have unofficial yet important roles in life of the community. Many spouses (like me) have jobs, and we also get involved with volunteering, whether it’s with a Soldier and Family Readiness Group, within the Wing or on the base or post, or with local charities, the spouses’ club, the chapel, or the Red Cross. There are seemingly endless ways for military spouses to volunteer.

Often, we women put a lot of pressure on ourselves to carry forward the work of others. But we are not all equipped or gifted in the same way, and our stages in life frame our service. For example, what a military spouse with adult children can offer in a community is going to look a lot different than what another woman with school-aged children can do, and that is perfectly okay, and indeed, beautiful! You are gifted and talented and called to serve your family and the community within your current state of life. Resist the urge to fill someone else’s shoes. Wear your own! Your community will celebrate your authenticity.

Connect with Friends Old and New

When I get overwhelmed in moving season, I tend to retreat inward — into my house by cleaning and organizing, and even into my spirit and emotions by ruminating or analyzing or allowing anxiety to creep in. Reach out to others during PCS season. Check in with your friends who are moving to see how they are doing. Your phone call or Facetime will be a breath of fresh air amid a house of moving boxes. Invite a new person on the block to go for a walk with you or to meet up at the local pool or playground. Just taking an hour to connect with someone, whether is a new friend or an old friend, will energize you and your family!

Everyone experiences transitions in life, and I hope that whether you are military-affiliated or not, these suggestions will help you to accept change in life with joy and a sense of adventure!

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Copyright 2026 Elizabeth Tomlin
Images: Canva