Take Time for You

Cassidy Van Slyke Blenke offers self-care tips for newly postpartum moms.

With four children four and under, it is not an easy task trying to keep all of them safe while ensuring they live healthy and happy lives. Suffering from sleep exhaustion is a true form of hardship when parenting. The newborn phase (especially in the first 6 months of life) has been one of the most challenging phases of parenthood that I quickly forget about once my children begin sleeping through the night.

As I write this, I have a napping newborn in the background. He is only two months old and has not adapted to long stretches of sleep yet. While I am forever grateful for his health and small moments of baby smiles, I am consumed with a lack of consistent sleep, a foggy brain, and a body that is physically recovering from 82 days of best rest. Oh, how we devote our entire bodies and souls to our babies during pregnancy and beyond!

Most days I experience moments where I’m overwhelmed: when the baby is screaming, the dog needs to be let out, and my three other daughters are running around causing pure destruction, coloring on the walls, and jumping on the furniture. During these chaotic moments, I wonder if everyone else’s children are as “spirited'' as mine. Do their homes have piled mountains of laundry waiting to be folded and put away? Are they constantly tripping over toys that need to be put back in their container? Do they have an extended to do list that never gets checked off? Do they avoid mirrors because they no longer recognize their reflections?

One of my close friends told me that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle, but exhausting moments like these make me second-guess my ability to mother with a peaceful mindset and provide a clean & calm home environment for my family.

The ever-spinning world of parenthood, especially the postpartum period, greatly affects our mind, body, and soul. From emotional, hormonal, and physical changes, we are truly put through the wringer. I am constantly reminded of this when I get to the point of unbearable discomfort when the emotional pain causes me to lose my patience easily, saying things I don’t mean, and also forgetting simple self-care tasks like taking a shower. This is usually the moment when I come to terms with myself, realizing I must lean on God, and the Holy Spirit encourages me to put my ego aside and ask for help, reminding me that we women cannot do this alone.

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Through the help of others, I’ve learned to physically step outside myself when things get tough, rather than giving into the mania of motherhood. I strap the kiddos in the stroller and go outside for a walk. I simply breathe in and out and move my body with positive intentional motion. I gather up my courage, channel my faith, enlist the support of family and friends, and schedule time with my closest acquaintances who love me for who I am.

My family and fellow mom army remind me that I’m doing the best I can, and that I need to be gentle with myself. I then partake in basic self-care by taking a long shower, so I begin to recognize my reflection and appreciate the beautiful body that birthed four children.

Click to tweet:
God has taught me to fight the hard times, ask for support, and lean into the messy & wild world of parenthood. #catholicmom

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While I gaze into my baby’s eyes during feedings, some of the fogginess begins to lift and I am filled with love, joy, and a deep feeling of gratitude that I brought this little being into the world. His soft and tiny hands grasp my finger, and small sweet coos bring a gentle smile to my face. Yes, the physical and emotional toll of young parenthood can prove unbearable in moments, but I know in about ten years my little ones will no longer need to hold my hand, and they will be off in their own wonderful worlds on their way to adulthood. God has taught me to fight the hard times, ask for support, and lean into the messy & wild world of parenthood.

For those struggling during pregnancy and postpartum, please refer to Postpartum.net for additional support.