Tasting the Fruit of the Daily Examen

As a difficult conversation echoes through her mind, Jen Scheuermann discovers a hidden fruit of praying the Daily Examen.

Before even opening my eyes, I heard them: Words from the previous night echoing in my mind. It wasn’t really an argument. Was it? 

No. Just a disagreement. 

Regardless, it replayed in my head as a familiar scenario unfolded. Still laying in bed with eyes closed, I held each statement up to the light—searching for fault, questioning how my words had been received, and composing new versions of already-spoken sentences that might have landed differently. That might have landed … better. 

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I could have continued this for hours. Days even. It wouldn’t have been the first time. But in a move quite uncharacteristic, I silenced every voice in my head with an unspoken command. “Just wait—and bring it to God.” And as the voices in my head fell silent, I got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. Slipping my earbuds in, I turned on my morning devotional, determined to block any thoughts of the conversation until I was seated comfortably in my prayer corner–coffee in hand, candle flickering beside me, and God in the lead.

Just two weeks earlier I had committed—again—to adding the Daily Examen to my regular morning prayer routine. And since I can barely stay awake long enough to thank God for my day after I finally climb into bed at night, I knew it would only happen if I did it in the morning. I’ve prayed the Daily Examen intermittently in the past, but for some reason I’ve never made the habit stick longer than a few days. This Lent, though, I sensed God inviting me to try it again, and I was beginning to taste the fruit of this Ignatian practice.

If you’re not familiar with the Examen, it is a way of prayerfully reflecting on your day to identify God’s presence and movement through the people and events that you encounter. Originally developed by St Ignatius of Loyola more than 400 years ago, a quick Internet search yields many variations and how-tos for anyone wanting to try it. For the previous two weeks, I’d used either a guided version on the Hallow app or one of the many variations found on the Reimagining the Examen app from Loyola Press. Through both of these resources I was repeatedly reminded of two very important points: First, the purpose of the Daily Examen is to grow closer to God. And second, instead of using my prayer time to obsess over the details of my day, I should allow God to take the lead. 

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Looking back, I easily see how praying the Examen daily allowed me to quickly stop myself, in the moment from continuing to ruminate on every word spoken during that difficult conversation. Instead of continuously critiquing words that could not be taken back, I easily took captive each thought in my head and turned to God, opening my heart to receive His thoughts on the conversation.

Rather than spending my day in turmoil, haunted by “I should have” and “If only”, I experienced the peace of God's presence and His direction for my next interaction with my loved one. And as I continue to reflect on that experience, I’ve no doubt that this prayer practice is one I should continue.

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