Teen Small Groups: The Grassroots Way

Amanda Woodiel describes how busy parents can pool their efforts to create Catholic fellowship opportunities for their teenagers.

Our parish lacks staffing for youth. Well, we have staffing for it, but that person is acting as the director of religious education until we find someone for that. This has been the situation for the last couple of years.   

In the meantime, our kids are growing up, and some parents decided to form a small group on their own so that their young teens would have the benefit of Catholic fellowship. This group of ten young men named themselves the Crusaders, and they have met every other week for three years!  

A year ago, some moms on a text thread I’m on were lamenting the lack of opportunities for their middle-school girls to be involved at church, and out of that discussion came the GEMS small group: Girls Emulating Mary. These girls have met every other week for the last year. 

Grassroots Efforts Make Sense

It is, perhaps, the old Protestant in me coming out (I’m a convert), but these kinds of grassroots efforts make a lot of sense to me. One tendency I’ve seen in myself and in many of the group discussions I’m in is a consumerist mindset toward the church: “‘They’ need to provide [fill in the blank].” More disturbingly, “they” should provide it when it works with my set schedule, in the format I prefer, with free babysitting, and with no commitment or help from me. “They” generally refers to the “church staff,” who are often understaffed and overwhelmed with these kinds of demands.  

It’s a far cry from the understanding of all of us as the body of Christ working together to use our gifts for the benefit of the Kingdom. Examining my own conscience, I see that the mindset is a byproduct of American consumerism: I give you my tithe, now you deliver the goods for me. If I don’t like your music or your homilies, I’ll switch to a better “company” [i.e. parish] that suits me better. I truly think these kinds of sentiments are not malicious; it’s just how we Americans are born and bred. (My apologies to readers from other parts of the world! Perhaps you can comment below and share with us your ways of seeing the world!)  

In addition, the busy-ness of our generally both-parents-working, many-extracurricular-activities way of life contributes to this thinking. It’s not that I wouldn’t help get something like this going — it’s that I have nothing left after I’ve worked, grocery shopped, run the kids everywhere, and collapsed into a chair. I might see that having a small group for my kids would be a good thing, but I can’t do it, so “they” should. 

Three Steps for Forming a Group 

This is quite a dilemma, isn’t it? We have a good thing needed: a small group for teens, but no one to do it. I’ve come to think that it must be a very good thing indeed, if heightened spiritual warfare is any indication. I’ve been involved with both the Crusaders group (my husband teaches it) and with the GEMS group (I help support it), and I have broken down the process of forming a group into a few basic steps to help you, should you be called to starting a group: 

Step 1: Form your group.

The beginning is the best time to cast your net wide. I wouldn’t want to leave anyone out, but I also wouldn’t want the group to be larger than ten kids. If you get past that number, you’ll need to have two groups, which may end up being better anyway so that different schedules can be accommodated. To find people who might be interested, ask around! Look for kids who are the same sex and whose ages are within two years of each other — a gap bigger than that makes it hard to talk about important, relevant topics. 

Step 2: Establish the group's goals.

Arrange for a group meeting to discuss goals for the group, decide meeting dates and times, and assign responsibilities. It’s a good idea to talk about what you hope the group will accomplish and why the group is important. Write it down! Put it on your fridge! This is vital to remember when you are tired and just want to stay home. Finally, name your group.  

When it comes to how the group is organized, the two main principles are these: no one parent should have to do everything, and the families who commit to the group realize that they are committing to being there as much as possible. To have a group requires people to be in attendance.  

Some roles could be: facilitating the learning part of the meeting, providing snack, sending out reminders, reserving spaces at the church, printing out materials, or planning a fun activity. Ideally, each parent will be able to contribute in a way that matches their gifts. Don’t forget that teens can take on some roles as well! 

Step 3: Plan a template for your meetings.

If you make a template at the start, you can just plug pieces into the slots instead of having to design it every time. The general rule for anything I do is “learn together, play together, pray together.” A template for a meeting might be: Scripture reading (you could pull from the upcoming Sunday’s Gospel reading), watch a video about the faith, discuss it, eat a snack, do a fun activity, share prayer requests, close with prayer.  

There are a lot of great resources for teens! We typically turn to FORMED.org, Ascension Press, or Word on Fire for videos, or we look for things from trusted Catholic evangelists/priests. 

Putting together something like this takes effort, but it isn’t out of reach. It’s a lifeline for helping Catholic kids navigate the world together. When you look back at all of the things you did for your kids, I think you’ll be glad you took the time for this. I know we are. 

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Copyright 2024 Amanda Woodiel
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