The Journey to the Manger: Preparing Our Hearts and Homes for Advent

Laura Vazquez Santos explores how we celebrate Advent as Catholics and how to prepare for the upcoming joyful season.

As I write this in November, I can already feel the stirring of anticipation in our home: the days grow shorter, the light gentler. The quiet of winter seems to invite a deeper “yes” to the coming of the Saviour. Advent is not simply a bridge to Christmas, but a distinct season of waiting, hope, and transformation. It’s a time when families can slow, pray, prepare the heart, and welcome God’s presence in new ways. 

What Advent Looks Like in Our Family  

In our home, we begin by marking the four Sundays of Advent. On each Sunday we light a candle, and sometimes we gather around the table with hot chocolate while reading from one of our child-friendly Bible storybooks to the kids. We then take turns naming one thing we hope for this holiday season. I try to redirect the conversation toward the kind of hope that is more than a toy, but, rather, a deeper longing: “I hope someone will help me,” “I hope our neighbour finds peace,” “I hope I open my heart more.”  

During the week we sprinkle in small practices: an evening exam of conscience (What did I see? How did I respond? Was I kind today? Where could I show kindness more?). Because we’re a busy family with young children, we try not to add too many layers; the key is not to over-pack, but to slow down. 

On the weekends we do something joy-filled: We bake cookies, do a little holiday-music dance party, talk about how this waiting leads to joy, and sing “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.” On Saturdays we ask: Whom can we serve? The children choose something concrete: writing a note of encouragement to someone sick, donating a book or clothing they no longer need.  

It’s not perfect, but it is intentional. 

And as we approach December 17-24, we set our gaze often on our nativity scene, so the focus remains on the holy family, the waiting and preparation, and not yet the arrival. 

Getting Ready Now: Practical Steps 

Now is the perfect time to set the stage: 

Gather your materials. 

Order (or make) an Advent wreath or ring if you can. Choose an Advent calendar — not a chocolate one, unless it leads into a Gospel moment — but one that opens with Scripture, saint stories, and calls to kindness.  

Choose your version of the nativity.

If you don’t already have one, buy or select a nativity set. Place it somewhere visible but calm. Consider intentionally leaving the figures of Mary and Joseph separated from the stable, or even have them “journeying” toward it, so that the children see the movement of waiting and arrival. 

Plan your rhythm. 

Write down the Sundays, schedule the family light-candles night, pick your Friday baking or service slot. Arrange a quiet hour each week for family reflection when screens are off, the house is dim, Advent music plays, and simple questions are asked: “What are we waiting for? How am I preparing?” 

Involve the children (and yourself) in action that anchors hope. 

Ask each child to write down one way they can bring hope to someone this week. As the parent, write your own commitment: maybe to carve out time for daily prayer, read a chapter of Scripture sometime that week, or invite someone lonely for a meal. 

We live in such a hectic and chaotic world. It is easy to forget what really matters during the holiday season, setting our sights on the material stuff instead of on the spiritual lessons of what Christmas is really about. Sometimes focusing on these little but very practical tasks can help us reorient ourselves toward what Advent is really about and teaching our children what truly matters.  

Replacing the Elf on the Shelf (or extending the tradition) with Mother Mary and Baby Jesus  

In recent years on social media I’ve seen families consciously shift away from the secular tradition of the Elf on the Shelf, and instead introduce a faith-centred alternative: a simple figure of Mary, Mother of Jesus and baby Jesus on “holiday watch,” reminding everyone of the true reason for the season. 

Here’s how some have adapted it (and you can too): 

• On December 1 we place Mary in a “travel bag” (or cardboard box) somewhere in the house, symbolizing the journey toward Bethlehem. Baby Jesus remains wrapped and hidden. 

• Each morning the children find Mary in a new spot, along with a short note: “I’m on the road to Bethlehem! How are you making room for Jesus today?” They write or draw their reply. 

• On December 24, we place Baby Jesus in the cardboard stable (or nativity stable) and read Luke 2:1-14 together. Then the children tuck the notebook into the stable as their gift of waiting. 

• The mischievousness of the Elf is replaced by an invitation to reflection and kindness rather than surveillance or daily tricks. 

If you prefer another alternative, perhaps you can even create a “Waiting Tree” with ornaments each representing acts of kindness; or a “Kindness Advent calendar” where each swipe opens a door with a service challenge (“Call the lonely,” “Bake for a neighbour,” or “Donate a coat”). Some families use a “Scripture chain” linking each day’s verse until Christmas Day the chain breaks and the nativity is revealed. 

Why This Matters for our Faith and Family Life  

By making Advent more than just a lead-in to Christmas day, we invite our children and ourselves into the posture of the expectant Israel of old: people who watched, waited, longed, prepared, and finally saw the fulfilment of God’s promise in tiny, vulnerable flesh through the incarnation. In doing so we remind our children that faith is not only about one big moment (the tree, the presents, the feast) but about daily readiness, small acts of love, and hope rooted in a Person — Christ — Who comes.  

Replacing or re-shaping popular traditions like the Elf on the Shelf isn’t about guilt or judgment. It’s about adding in a rhythm throughout that season of waiting that aligns with our baptismal identity as Christian mothers and fathers, who are called to be co-laborers with God in making the home a “little church” where love is prepared, and Christ is always welcomed.   

The fun, the laughter, the family rituals — they’re all part of it — but they lead somewhere: to the stable, to the manger, to new life in Christ. 

So as you sip your coffee (or tea) and glance at a calendar turning its page toward December 25th, I invite you to start now. Lay out your wreath, gather your materials, talk to your children about what waiting really means, decide how you will serve and how you will reflect. When the nativity figures begin their journey and Mary moves closer to the stable, allow it to be a mirror: How am I moving closer? How is my heart making room? 

Advent is this beautiful, quiet invitation to take the long way, the peaceful path, so that when the bells ring and the lights glow on Christmas, we’re not simply checking the boxes of a holiday, but truly greeting the Word made flesh, Emmanuel, God-with-us. And our home will be ready. 

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Copyright 2025 Laura Vazquez Santos
Images: Canva