The Messy Jesse Tree

Charisse Tierney offers words of comfort to moms worried that imperfectly-done devotions won't impact their children's souls.

How are your Advent resolutions going? Are you keeping up with your Jesse Tree? Have you lit your Advent wreath candles every night at dinner with your whole family? Have you been able to set aside regular times for quiet prayer, peace, and silence?

If you’re anything like my family, you’ve doubled up on some Jesse Tree days, realized you completely forgot about the Advent wreath in the midst of the mealtime rush, and even when you have remembered to do these things, a 3-year-old has frequently been screaming through the entire liturgical custom.

I have to admit that, at times, I near the end of a liturgical season and feel like just giving up. Does anyone actually get anything out of the Jesse Tree when we can barely hear the Scripture passage above the temper tantrum? Do my children only like the Advent wreath candles because they count down the weeks to presents? And how can life in a large family ever be truly peaceful? Sometimes it is all just so … messy.

So often, just at the moment I hear a voice trying to convince me that none of it matters, another voice takes over. My anxiety starts to melt when my 3-year-old suddenly starts asking me about all of the people and symbols on our Jesse Tree. My frustration wanes when I see my 4-year-old carefully resetting her prayer table with the purple cloth. And I once again feel the joy of Christmas when my children all exclaim “Noah!” with delight as we place him on our Jesse Tree.

They are making connections. My liturgical customs don’t have to be perfectly executed. It’s okay if our household is often chaotic, loud, and inconsistent. If I just keep trying, God will fill in the gaps.

There are days we don’t get around to Bible study, but because my children and I had recently read the story of Noah together, they greeted him like an old friend when he was revealed on his Jesse Tree day. I’ve been getting by with half-used Advent wreath candles because I forgot to buy new ones, but my children still gaze in wonder at the flickering flames and argue over who gets to light them and snuff them out. We don’t have a lot of peace and quiet in our household, but my children still show me that they are contemplating the wonder of Christmas in their hearts.

They are better at protecting the sacred silence of their souls from the rest of the world than I am.

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Does anyone actually get anything out of the Jesse Tree when we can barely hear the Scripture passage above the temper tantrum? #catholicmom

It isn’t up to me and my best efforts. How can Christmas be anything but wonder-filled to a child? The Bible stories, prayer times, and liturgical customs are all linked together by the mystery of grace.

And so it is in all of our liturgical seasons. We scatter the seeds and God waters them in and makes them grow. Sometimes the seeds that are scattered arbitrarily are those which create the most beautiful gardens. Perhaps God has built in these inconsistencies, imperfections, and frustrations to make sure that He would have room to work.

I was talking to some children in our Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium about the names of the Messiah as prophesied by Isaiah. Wonder Counselor, God Hero, Father Forever, Prince of Peace. I asked the children, “Why does such a little baby have so many big names?”

To which one of the children simply replied, “Because He’s God.”

Our children have a profound simplicity that doesn’t always require explanation or elaboration. They don’t need us to be perfect all the time. They just need us to scatter the seeds.

Copyright 2021 Charisse Tierney
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