The Path to Forgiveness

Debra Black considers how our time here on earth is our practice for Heaven, and that we hoe the path to Heaven by sincere mercy.  

For the Lord is compassionate and merciful; forgives sins and saves in time of trouble. (Sirach 2:11) 

Each year, Divine Mercy Sunday reminds me that my time here on earth is my practice for Heaven, and that I hoe the path to Heaven by sincere mercy. Both offering and receiving mercy often takes forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process, yet determining how to take the first step can be confusing and even fearful. Each situation, each harmful action, creates knots in our heart and our life. The process of forgiveness is one of untying those knots.

It can be both shocking and amazing how one knot created in our life has not only permeated it deeply like a weed’s taproot, but also has offshoots throughout other areas of life that don’t seem to be connected. The knot may be a painful incident of the past, or it may be an ongoing relationship of the present. It could be a wound from being hurt long ago, or the pain of watching someone we love suffer. We sorrow when an elderly parent loses their dignity and when a child suffers meanness from peers. And then there is that person whose goal in life seems to be to make you feel imperfect, unworthy, and small.

The only truly effective weed killer is love, but there needs to be ground preparation first. That prep work is the purifying of the heart. One approach:  

• Begin prayer by recognizing God’s presence, His loving gaze upon you, and accept it is a fact that He pursues you in every moment wanting to share His love.  
• State your desire for this prayer: desire your healing. If you are so overwhelmed by this pain that you cannot desire healing, then ask God for the desire to desire. 
• Starting with one situation or relationship, make a list of every person involved, directly and peripherally, regardless of whether you think they were helpful, harmful, or unimportant. It will be surprising how lengthy this list might become.  
• Talk to God about each person. Tell Him all of your feelings towards that person, and what you think about yourself for having those feelings. Don’t hold back. If you hate that person, say so. If you need that person so much you can’t live without them, say so. Let all of your emotions out, as it is important to bring your whole self to Him in prayer.  
• Tell God how you feel about Him. Don’t hold back here either. If you are mad at God, then say so with all your anger. Keep in mind that, for any bitterness you feel toward another person, you likely feel some amount of bitterness toward God for permitting the situation. It is important to name these things out loud. 
• Ask God to remove from you all that is harmful in your relationship with Him. Bitterness, anger, distrust, resentment, fear, sadness, heartbreak, and pain are commonly in the mix. Keep in mind there is always a mix to identify rather than just one facet of the situation. These create barriers between us and God.  
• Ask Him to give you His love for each person on the list (name them), the desire to truly love them and for their salvation. Ask Him to provide for all their needs and intentions. Remember: forgiveness is an outcome of love. We can want to forgive in our head, but only the Holy Spirit can move it into our heart. 

This is not a one-off prayer but, instead, should be a regular exercise of the heart until you feel healing has taken place. That will be demonstrated not only by your own interior peace but also by your own prayer for them and others, and your attitude toward them. In other words, evidence of true virtues will ensue. Also, if instead of just a short exercise, you take this into silent meditation (especially before the tabernacle). You will find you learn a lot about yourself and God.  

The extent to which these weeds have spread begins to surface. Offshoots of this weed’s taproot can finally be unraveled, losing its hold of your life’s garden. For example, a past situation might have made a person fearful. Through this process of forgiving prayer, many self-protective ways of thinking and doing are illuminated that are based in that fear. That connection would never have been made without the help of the Holy Spirit.   

And always ask your Blessed Mother for help too. The one who seeks grace finds it in Mary's hands.  

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

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Copyright 2024 Debra Black
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