The Plans I Had When They Were Small

Jake Frost looks back on his children's younger years, pondering what he misses now that they're growing up.

November has put me in a nostalgic, retrospective mood, with its winds rattling the trees, autumn-colored leaves flying in the gusts, and a feeling of connection with the past and the continuation of the generations still lingering from All Saints and All Souls days.  

Maybe more than anything it’s from my kids getting older. Things are changing in our home just like the seasons are changing outside, and it’s starting to settle in that a page is turning, the story is moving on. 

There is much I wish I could hold onto. Much I miss from when we had all little kids. Especially around the holidays.  

There are things I always wanted to do with the kids that I now realize will never happen — the time for them has passed.  

And looking back, there are things I would do differently, if I could do them over again. 

The Great Gift  

But mostly, standing on the cusp of forever changes and realizing that those yesterdays are never coming back, I have a tremendous sense of gratitude.   

There is just so much joy in family life, in being a parent. It wasn’t what I expected; it certainly didn’t go as I planned, but it’s been better than I ever realized it could be.   

I had no idea, and I thank God for letting me be a husband and father.   

It has been the great gift of my life.  

Which all coalesced into this poem one morning while I was getting ready for work and the house was still quiet:  

The Plans I Had When They Were Small 

The plans I had when they were small, 
These children entrusted here to me,
Now that they have all grown tall,
I finally see will never be  

And yet the life that we’ve had,
Though not what I had schemed,
And the joy I’ve known to be their dad,
Was greater than I had dreamed 

Heading into the holidays, I hope everyone can grab hold of that gift and soak it in while the opportunity is here!  

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Copyright 2025 Jake Frost
Images: Canva