The Power of Observation: How Slowing Down and Noticing Helped Me Find Peace

Emily Jerger shares an example of how slowing down and noticing her thoughts and emotions led to greater awareness and patience with her son.

My husband and I are hoping to adopt again and have completed our home study through our local Catholic Charities agency. One of requirements for prospective parents in the adoption program is to accumulate ongoing education hours about parenting. To help meet those hours, our agency is offering a book club. We are currently reading The Connected Child by Kathryn Purvis. 

This book advises parents to pay closer attention to their children and to truly observe what calms them and what upsets them. My son is a toddler, and when our children are little, although they cannot communicate to us with words, they do communicate a lot through their body language and behavior. When I am distracted and rushing about, I miss what my son is trying to tell me.

Cultivating An Attitude of Observation and Awareness

As a parent, I am realizing that I also need to observe myself and ask questions about why I am reacting the way I am to my son. Often I am rushing from one thing to the next or trying to do too many things, even if only in my head. Without cultivating an attitude of observation and awareness, it is easy for me to become frazzled. Slowing down and noticing what is happening both inside myself and in my interactions with my son can go a long way in finding greater peace. 

Let me share a story. My toddler son is obsessed with cars. “Car” is literally the first thing he says to me in the morning. Even now, as I am writing this, he just said the word five times while looking at a library book about cars. He even likes to sleep with a toy car in his hand. I admit that as much as I love hearing my son start to talk, there are times when his obsession gets a little annoying. 

One day, we were getting out of the car, ready to go to the library. My toddler son was clinging to his little toy car and did not want it to let it go. I was afraid my son would drop the toy in the library, and I wanted to leave it in the car. I took the car away and you can imagine what happened next. My son started to cry inconsolably. 

In that moment, instead of rushing on to the library with a crying toddler, I slowed down and asked myself what would happen if my son did drop his toy in the library. Would I not notice and pick it up? Do I really need to take his toy away? I also noticed that I took the toy out of his hands, instead of asking him gently if we could leave it behind. Normally, when I ask my son to leave a toy in the car, he is pretty good about doing so. That day, I did not even ask.

Noticing Gave Me the Opportunity to Choose Peace

I started realizing that my son’s tears were actually caused by my arbitrary rule and my desire to not be inconvenienced. Seeing him cry, I wondered whether my rule of no toys in the library was really helpful to either of us. While standing in the parking lot, I decided to change my mind. I handed my son his toy car, he stopped crying, and we went in and enjoyed our time at the library. The car did not get lost. Everything worked out just fine.

This experience taught me how slowing down can help me be a better parent. There are many times when my own impatience and arbitrary rules are causing conflict with my son. As I strive to slow down and become more gentle and aware with him, I am finding greater peace within myself as well.

What is one way God might be inviting you to slow down, observe, and notice what is happening within you and your family?

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Copyright 2026 Emily Jerger
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