The Visitation: An Antidote to the Mean-Girl Mentality

Anni Harry ponders how the way we treat others directly trickles down to even the youngest on the playground.  

School is only a couple weeks away from starting for my kiddos. Recently, I was reflecting on some mean-girl antics I observed in a class of first graders, and watching little girls navigate the early nuances of friends who place conditions, rather than boundaries, on friendships.  

As I was watching my little girls interact just a few days ago, I sat there, watching their innocence and interiorly making note of how they love each other, and approach life with zest and zeal. As I sat there, a thought came to mind: the Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth.  

Social scientists, psychologists, behaviorists, and more have noted an increasing trend of mean-girl antics starting at an earlier age than previous decades. Cyberbullying is at an all-time high, and one need only watch the news this past year to understand physical aggression between girls is also rapidly increasing.  

Yet, in the midst of turmoil, as Catholic women, we are not meant to shrink away from the world and turn a blind eye. Rather, our call, and Christian duty, is to go out into the world, face the conflict, and witness the love of God through our own relationships and encounters with others.  

There is a common social media quote that has floated around for years, “Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world it was crooked.” While I have never been able to ascertain the original author, we find biblical precedent set for that quote, most notably in the visit of the Blessed Mother to her cousin.  

Instead of feeling jealousy or animosity toward Mary, who was carrying the Savior of the world, Elizabeth exclaims,

“Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? … Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.” (Luke 1:42-43, 45)

Mary, in turn prays the Canticle of Mary, or the “Magnificat,” praising God and His goodness, and then stays to care for her cousin.  

Mary and Elizabeth elevated each other. They raised each other up, mentally and spiritually, encouraging each other to recognize God’s greatness and goodness. They steeled each other against the “wickedness and snares of the devil,” by providing faith-filled, joy-filled, love-filled, and God-filled companionship.  

As women, and as Catholic moms, we have been given a challenge in this life to spread God’s love in the world, and like Elizabeth and Mary, to raise other women up. Our actions as women directly impact the next generation—the little eyes watching our every little move, and the ears which hear every little word. The way we treat others directly trickles down to even the youngest on the playground.  

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Like Mary and Elizabeth, let us carry the weight and the love of Christ into the world, to be felt in all our actions. #CatholicMom

So, as we prepare to start another school year, let us each ponder the role we play as a woman of faith. Every Sunday, we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, and invite Him intimately into our hearts. We are then sent forth from Mass to “proclaim the good news.”  

Like Mary and Elizabeth, let us carry the weight and the love of Christ into the world, to be felt in all our actions.

Let us teach our little ones to recognize Christ in their midst, and to straighten their fellow little classmates’ crowns, even if that sets them at odds with the rest of the group. 

For, as women of faith, we know that our lives here are fleeting. Like Mary, we have faith that the glory of God shall be forever, and we are invited into His embrace through all those times in which we raise others—men and women alike—to achieve the greatness that God has in store for them. 

As the Litany of Humility reminds us, “That others may become more holy that I, provided I become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.” 

Modeling for the young ones among us, how can we encourage other women, and praise God with them, as each woman reaches her height of holiness? 

Copyright 2023 AnnAliese Harry
Images: Frans Francken the Younger, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons; Romainbehar, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons; Nationalmuseum, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons