Three Ways Returning to the Church Changed my Life and my Marriage

Elaine Sinnott shares how coming back to the Church completely shifted her marriage and life. 

Young and unaware 

I was recently in Eucharistic Adoration pondering the time when my husband and I were newlyweds almost thirteen years ago. We were two kids, 22 and 23, living on an Air Force Base hundreds of miles away from any family. We’d often skip Sunday Mass and go only when convenient.  

We were “Sunday Catholics,” but barely even that. 

I remember one Sunday driving past the local Catholic Church off base, seeing a parking lot full of cars and thinking to myself, “What on earth is drawing them there?” 

It’s a funny thing to think back on now, because it wasn’t anything on Earth drawing them there, but Someone in Heaven. 

As I closed my eyes in front of the Blessed Sacrament and thought more about this, I envisioned my husband and me walking away from Jesus together, as if I saw His perspective instead of my own. But then we turned around and looked back at Him and I heard in my heart, “We cannot leave the Vine. We cannot leave Him.” 

A marriage under pressure 

I shuddered to think how our life would be if we hadn’t turned around and come back to Our Lord.  

Our marriage would’ve been extremely rocky if we had relied on worldly advice. With a husband who has deployed five times in thirteen years and seven children coming over that time, it was quite often too much. But I realize now that the graces from the sacrament of marriage kept us close to Christ — and I will forever be grateful for those graces.  

I once heard “There is a level of intimacy achieved by a couple who has experienced hardships that will never be reached by a couple who has not.”  

In today’s world, hardships in marriage too easily end in quitting and growth as a couple is never experienced. 

But there’s true graces when you choose love despite some days when you’re not feeling love. There’s supernatural help that comes with living out the marriage vows and loving your beloved in good times and in bad. I grew in maturity because of the graces from marriage and I would have never known how to truly forgive, cherish, and love my husband without God’s assistance.  

The family that never would have been 

I also realized in Adoration that we NEVER would’ve had our seven beautiful children had we not come back to the Church.  

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is surely not the world’s way, and you can tell that every time you see most people’s reactions out in public when I have a line of seven children walking behind me.  

But Jesus never promised the world’s approval when we follow Him. 

I know without a doubt, though, that NFP healed my marriage and my soul very deeply. It’s extremely countercultural to the sexual-revolution lifestyle and only seeks to help a couple grow in true love and respect of the gift of each other’s bodies to their beloved. It’s a form of spiritual protection. 

With each new pregnancy, whether expected or not, God has drawn me much closer to Him than before through total reliance and trust in Him. And each new child has drawn me out of myself and further into His loving arms.  

This benefit alone is eternally worth it. 

"You’re doing WHAT?!" 

I know without a doubt I also would’ve never begun homeschooling our children had we not come back to the Church. That was never on my radar, and I was all about sending my kids to school and having the day to myself (don’t get me wrong — I still have those thoughts four years into homeschooling).  

But I noticed, for our family, God was quietly calling me to shift to homeschooling when I opened my ears to Him. I felt the nudge and told Him, “These two things need to happen for homeschooling to be possible,” and He blew me away with His answer.  

As we had just received the unexpected news of baby number six on the way, I also pulled my three boys out of public school and began homeschooling a third grader and twin kindergarteners.  

And what a gift it has been! I believe homeschooling has taught ME more than it has the kids! I have never learned more about the beauty of the Catholic faith than I have while sitting and teaching my children their religion courses for the past four years. Homeschooling has been a gift to our entire family, and I am so grateful to the Lord that it is possible for us. 

There is freedom in the Church 

I have learned over the years and experiences I’ve had that God is not restricting: He is freeing! Sin puts chains on us; we willingly lock ourselves up into slavery when we choose to sin. But Jesus breaks those chains and brings us true freedom and joy, which is what the Church offers to us.  

Are you struggling with any teachings in the Church right now? Do you also wonder what is drawing people to fill that parking lot every Sunday? I ask you to start with some quiet time and read John 15:1-11 and ask the Lord to lead you where He wants you. 

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Copyright 2024 Elaine Sinnott
Images: (center) copyright 2015 Kim Mumford Photography, all rights reserved, used with permission; all others Canva