Time to Try Again

Carol S. Bannon recalls how she first learned that Lent can be a season to pursue perfection.

My favorite time of year is almost here … Lent! Next week, on Ash Wednesday, I will walk into church, receive my ashes, and try again. I may not completely succeed, but I want to try again to replicate the thrill of childlike faith, try again to become a more perfect Christian.

I remember attending Ash Wednesday Mass before school began with our class. Every one of us would be waiting expectantly for the familiar aroma of incense burning in the censer and the familiar sound of brass chains being rocked against it. We would quietly moan to each other, but I believe every one of us loved that aroma.

Fr. Kenney would walk around the altar, swaying it back and forth, releasing the incense, blessing the ashes. Then, he would summon us up to receive ashes on our foreheads. We would return to our pews secretly inspecting, and comparing each other’s foreheads. There was honor in having the largest, darkest smudge of ashes—and when recess arrived, we would dare our friends to wash their foreheads.

little girl with cross of ashes on her forehead

Ash Wednesday was also the day we were given a cross in class with 40 squares representing the forty days of Lent. We were strongly advised to give up something we truly loved as a gift to Jesus; for every day we kept our promise, we could color in one square. Morning work began with taking out our cross and coloring in the square for the day before. It never even occurred to me to fudge the truth.

To this day, I remember vividly the one time I just sat there. Sister Teresa asked why I wasn’t coloring and I had to own up to the fact I had failed to keep my promise. I had given up bubble gum but found some and I chewed it!

I will never forget what she said: "Well, Carol, no one but the Lord is perfect. I am sure your cross is going to be beautiful. Just leave this center piece white.”

She was right. My cross may have had one white blank space that year, but fifty years later I have never forgotten the reason why: only the Lord is perfect.

That is not to say we can’t strive for perfection, and this is why Lent is so important. It is a time to pursue perfection in our lives as Christians. We will never achieve perfection in every aspect of life, but during Lent the pursuit of perfection is what we are called to do. Too many times, though, I enter Holy Week feeling as if I am holding a cross filled with white squares. Being an adult is hard, and it goes without saying our best intentions have a way of taking a back seat to life’s demands.

Maybe we need to slow life down for these coming days of Lent. As mothers and wives we cannot alter our families’ schedules but it is possible to simplify routines to make more room for spiritual growth. Make more time for Christ to settle into our homes, our families.

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We will never achieve perfection in every aspect of life, but during Lent the pursuit of perfection is what we are called to do. #catholicmom

Maybe we need to slow life down for these coming days of Lent. As mothers and wives we cannot always alter our families’ schedules, but it is possible to simplify routines to make more room for spiritual growth. Make more time for Christ to settle into our homes, our families.

And maybe that is enough.

Simplification makes way for more time with each other without the cacophony of today’s lifestyle distracting us from our promises to Christ. Alter a schedule to include less screen time and more prayer time. Turn off extraneous noise creating the quiet we yearn for, a quiet we need to draw closer to God. Slow down for the forty days of Lent and be with God.

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:11)

It is time to try again.

Editor's note: Inspired by Carol's article, we've created a printable Lenten cross you can use in two ways: as a countdown to Easter, coloring a block each day from Ash Wednesday through Holy Saturday, or as a sacrifice tracker.

bowl of ashes with cross impressed in it