Two White Roses

Kimberly Andrich recalls when God gave her husband and her two choices and shares a decision-making tool from Fr. Mike Schmitz to use in such moments.

When our boys were young, my husband went back to school full-time as I worked to support our family. It was a stressful time for both of us, but we had a goal that he would find a job upon graduation, and I would stay home with the boys and any future children.

As his graduation approached, Andy began looking for work but was unable to find anything right away. Once graduated, he stepped up his efforts, and I stepped up my prayers.

I asked Saint Thérèse of Lisieux for her intercession in helping my husband to not only find work but to find the right job, one that would be pleasing to God and would be a good fit for our family. I asked her to send me a white rose when he was offered that job.

Several weeks passed before Andy received a call with a job offer. The job had a great deal of appeal in some ways and was closer to my parents—something for which we had prayed. However, there were some things about the job about which we were uncertain.

I went to adoration on my way home from work the next day to pray about the possibility. As I entered the small side chapel that had been set up for adoration, I noticed a single white rose—in full bloom and slightly yellowed on the edges—sitting next to the monstrance.

null

“This must be what you want us to do, Lord,” I prayed, still with mixed feelings but readying myself to obey.

I went home and shared this event with Andy. It seemed to be an answer to our prayers. But Andy’s reservations and concerns had been growing, and he did not feel comfortable taking the job. I felt torn but chose to support him in that decision. When truly considering it, it really did not make sense to either of us.

A week or two passed, and Andy continued to apply for jobs and interview as I pondered whether we had just said no to God’s will.

He received his second offer, this time for a job fifteen minutes from where we lived. We both felt more comfortable with this offer right away. Again, we put it in God’s hands and sought His direction.

The next day, I went again to pray, this time at a church near our house. And again, there on the corner of the altar, was a single white rose in a simple vase. Having gone to this church many times, I had never seen a rose on the altar and have not seen one there since. But that day, there it was, another little gift from Thérèse.

null

Andy did take that job and still works for the same company today, almost thirteen years later.

I believe that, through Saint Thérèse, God was showing us that He was giving us a choice and honoring our decision. His will was not for Andy to take one job over the other, but either would have been within His permissive will.

Sometimes, when we pray about and discern a decision we need to make, He points us in a particular direction; other times He doesn’t. Often, when He doesn’t, He is allowing us to use our intellect and reason, given to us by Him, to make the decision.

Fr. Mike Schmitz, in an Ascension Presents video, instructs listeners to ask four questions when God does not give specific direction.

The first question to ask ourselves is: “Is this a good door?” In other words, would making this decision lead me to sin? Would choosing that path go against His commandments or against biblical or Church teaching?

The second question is: “Is this an open door?” Is it something I am able to do? As a married woman, I cannot become a religious sister, but there are many things I can do.

The third question: “Is this a wise door?” Fr. Mike further asks, “Knowing where I’ve been, knowing who I am right now and also knowing who I want to be, who I believe God is calling me to be, … would this be a wise decision in my life?”

This is where, though God seemed to be giving us a door that was both good and open—and, I believe, an answer to our prayer that we live closer to my parents—it did not otherwise fit with what He had previously called us to or the direction we wanted our lives to take. So we made the decision to turn it down.

Fr. Mike’s last question covers situations when God has not given us specific guidance: “Is this a door I want?” The choice is ours.

null

Before this incident with the two roses, I had been under the impression that God has a particular direction for every big decision we need to make. But this experience showed me that it is not always the case. Sometimes He presents us with the decision and asks us to choose.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.