Uncommonly Helpful Books for the New Mom

Kate Moreland suggests three less common books for new moms to read instead of more popular fare. 

One thing I learned sometime between children numbers two and four was that parenting books are mostly useless. As a general rule, they tell you how your child should behave if he was a composite of all children. They expect that you will parent your child along the mathematical mean of all possible parenting choices. It is no wonder that some of the assumptions and suggestions are unlikely at best and utterly ludicrous at worst. Instead, I suggest that new moms buy the following books and rely on actual people they know and trust for specific advice. 

How to wife 

This is an oldie but goodie. Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, gives a bite-sized peek into the minds of men and how we as women can live happily with these funny creatures. It is an entertaining read, but it also highlights how to avoid some of the primary marital pitfalls caused by the differences in how the two genders think.   

I do caution, however, that Dr. Laura is not Catholic and does not share the Catholic view on pornography; it is the one area in which her book is very wrong, and I suggest researching Church teaching about this if one has concerns. That very small bit of her book aside, the rest of it is so well-researched, informative, and funny that it is still on my top three list for new wives.   

How to mother 

Mothering is not always that easy, and usually it is our own mindsets that need to change in order to get us over a hump. Abbie Halberstadt in her book, M is for Mama: A Rebellion Against Mediocre Motherhood (and the sequel Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad), gives biblically concrete advice for how to maintain a Christian and sensible mindset in the face of family life. Abbie is a mother to ten and her anecdotes are both helpful and hilarious. 

Nothing can shake our perceived images of ourselves like our children can, so it is a great help having a resource to remind ourselves what the Bible teaches about motherhood and how to reorient our expectations when things start to drift toward crazy. Abbie shares funny stories from her experience, Bible verses to reference, and discussion questions to ask ourselves as we ponder what we read. Besides which, this book is adorable; the hardcover is cute, pleasantly sized, and just plain pretty! A far cry from What to Expect and its bulky ilk.   

How to sleep 

Ah, sleep. Do you remember what that was?   

Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, by Dr. Richard Ferber, is far more than the typical book explaining the mythical solution to make your baby sleep. What makes this book useful is that it is open to whatever sleep arrangement works for your family and explains simply how the human brain and sleep habits work. Once you understand how people sleep and what disrupts it, then you can take steps to fix whatever trouble is happening.   

Recently, I referred back to this not only to help my 6-month-old who had regressed her sweet way back to hourly waking all night long, but also to figure out why my 7-year-old randomly started yelling at us an hour after going to bed. It turns out that my suspicion was correct; he was not awake and there is not a lot in the moment that I can do about the trouble. What I can do is help correct what is causing it, and the book gives suggestions. My 6-month-old is also relearning the delightful sleep habits she had once upon a time, and we are all happier.   

Whether it is nighttime potty challenges, baby nap schedule difficulties, toddlers who resist bedtime, or teens who cannot seem to wake up rested, there are answers in this book. It is an easy read, and best of all to me, Ferber is reasonable. His advice works in a normally functioning family with all the messiness that can encompass.  

And, of course, if you have specific challenges related to any medical condition, consult your doctor, not a book … as the book itself will tell you. 

You have what you need 

Beyond that, new moms do not need more books; they have all the God-given instincts to parent their children that they need. What they need are good friends, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and peers to support and guide along the way. Nothing is as good as a cup of tea with someone who has a listening ear and more experience. These books complement that interpersonal support better than most I have found. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2024 Kate Moreland
Images: Canva