Using Words, Discovering Healing

Johanna Stamps emphasizes the importance of putting our experiences into words as we begin to heal.

My child does not (yet) know the word “bored,” so he’s never bored.   

In a positive perspective, if we don’t have the words to describe a feeling, then it’s almost as if the feeling doesn’t exist—or at least it’s easier to ignore.   

After a recent piece on my own blog about anticipatory grief, the response I got was frequently a simple “thank you” for putting words to what people have been experiencing.    

Words help us recognize a feeling and bring it to life. In a negative perspective, if we don’t have the words, then we often remain unclear about what we are experiencing. Without the words, we often block the experience completely—or at least try to.  

Giving Words to the Experience  

When I experienced childhood trauma, I didn't have the words to communicate my experiences. I sat with the knowledge that something was terribly wrong, but it was like the experience was trapped inside my body. What’s worse is that I had the evil one’s whisper in my ear telling me to stay silent. It was only when I chose to explore my trauma as an adult that I was able to speak the unthinkable words and bring the experience toward healing.    

Words are the map to what we are feeling and to our healing.  

Giving Words to the Feelings  

When I finally had the words to give the experience, I could explore the words that identified the feeling. I enjoy using the emotion wheel because it helps to take a step further into identifying feelings and perhaps the source.    

Imagine that you are living with a pit of anger in your stomach. You don’t remember when it started, but it’s like you can’t get rid of it. Suddenly, you begin speaking about the feeling. You refer to the emotion wheel and realize that the feeling is really betrayal or resentment—not just animosity. Through a series of conversations, you realize that the broken trust from an ex-boyfriend who left you for your roommate has been stuck with you for years. While in some ways you may have moved on, you heart can still be partly stuck in that place of fear.  

Imagine: There’s a child who never heard his father say that he loves him or is proud of him. He lives his days trying to prove himself only to hear, on his father’s deathbed, “Oh, son, surely you knew I was always proud of you.” He may have been sitting with sadness for years but unable to heal because the words were missing. Imagining what someone may say or feel doesn’t make those words a reality. It’s when they’re spoken that they become real. 

Giving Words to the Healing   

Jesus is always calling us to speak. He wants to hear your heart and your hurt and bring you to your healing.    

I often think about a woman during Jesus’s time, leaving her house chores behind and the voices of friends telling her to stay home. As she walks, she sees the long line of people waiting to speak to the healer. She practices what she is going to say. She thinks about the years of ridicule she’s experienced. When she gets to the front of the line, she barely gets the words out, and just like that, she hears, “My daughter, you are healed.”   

There is a reason Jesus says,   

“Ask and it will be given to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

Words are the beginning of the relationship with Jesus. Without the words, we are stuck in our head, pondering the injustices of our lives.  

Click to tweet:
Jesus is always calling us to speak. He wants to hear your heart and your hurt and bring you to your healing. #CatholicMom

Jesus is calling us to use words to express what we feel to start the healing.  

Take the time and ask yourself:  

• What is it you are experiencing that hasn’t yet been identified? 
• What words are you speaking for the first time today?  
• What freedom are you being called into?  

Copyright 2023 Johanna Stamps
Images: (top, bottom) copyright 2023 Johanna Stamps, all rights reserved; (center) Canva