Waiting, Not Wasting

Merridith Frediani learns that God’s grace is important for staying in the present while waiting.

It is a season of waiting for several family members and me. What we are waiting for is irrelevant. We are a waiting family, and some of us are handling it better than others. Being a founding member of this clan, one could reasonably assume I am one of the former: patiently waiting for God’s time to come to fruition, generously bestowing my waiting expertise on my children. After all, the Lord has had me in significant periods of waiting in the past.

I’m a pro. Right?

Alas, that is not the case. I am in the latter crowd, the one that is struggling mightily with the wait. I know that God’s time is not my own. He is shockingly patient. Better people than I have waited longer and for more important reasons. Abraham and Sarah waited decades for a child. Simeon waited at the temple to meet the baby Jesus. Elizabeth gave birth to John in her “advanced age.” Job waited for his suffering to end.

I know God’s time is slower and I know his timing is best. I’ve read the Bible. I pay attention at Mass. I experienced firsthand how waiting for Him and His plan brings blessings. Yet, I still haven’t learned this lesson in my heart because here I am, waiting poorly again. I prayed a Surrender Novena and prayed it again. I begged God to help me be more detached. But I didn’t surrender and trust; I held on. Tom Petty wrote “the waiting is the hardest part.” He’s not wrong.

Learning from a Children’s Book

I suspect few people enjoy waiting, since songs and books are written about it. My daughter shared her copy of Mo Willems’ children's book, Waiting Is Not Easy! and it brought surprising comfort to this grown-up. In the story, Piggie tells his friend Elephant that he has a surprise, but Elephant has to wait because it’s not here yet. I can’t say I’ve ever connected more with a storybook character than I did with Elephant. He groaned loudly and often, gave up waiting only to return, and became angry.

At one point he yelled, “We have wasted the whole day!” I won’t tell you the surprise because it’s, well, worth waiting for but Elephant’s observation that he wasted the whole day wandered through my subconscious and emerged a few days later as a lesson to be learned.

Waiting but Not Wasting

I cannot let waiting become wasting, and I have been very good at doing exactly that. I became so entrenched in the future, dreaming and perseverating, that I failed to appreciate the present. I wasn’t doing what I knew I should: be where my feet are. It was a vortex of worrying about my own and my family’s situations.

Then I thought the wait was over — actually, I knew and believed it was. I mentally moved on, only to learn I was dead wrong. Over scary hours, I processed my anger and disappointment. I think I made my husband a little nervous, but good man that he is, he was okay.

The surprise that the wait wasn’t over broke me, but in a good way. Somehow God’s grace slipped in. The grace I’d been praying for, that I wasn’t letting in, found a crack. I thought I accepted I had no control, but grace helped me believe it and be okay. This situation is not mine to manage.

I’m still waiting, and it’s still kind of hard, but I’m just waiting. I’m no longer wasting. His grace is helping me be detached and at peace. I can appreciate where my feet are because I am blessed to have really good places for my feet to be and really good people standing there with me. My good husband is supportive, my daughter lent me a book, and a friend made heartbreak scones.

Will I groan again, like Elephant? Likely. Hopefully it will be a short-lived groan. The Israelites groaned in the desert, and I suspect David did too as he waited to be king. They were human like me. They had faith in God’s plan though and it turned out well.

I’m not sure what it says about me that it took a children’s book to help me see straight, but God really does work in mysterious ways.

2026 Fasting Experiment Update

May’s fast was from dessert. As my grandmother said, “It’s nice to have a little something sweet” after dinner. It started out well, then May happened and the wheels came off. I realized late in the month that I forgot all about my fast, so I repeated it for June. This experience feels like a metaphor for the interior life: Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it’s challenging, sometimes it’s a bust, but the important thing is getting back at it. I am not perfect, but I will keep trying to do my best.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2026 Merridith Frediani
Images: Canva