Wanted: Christmas Spirit

Michelle Hamel finds comfort in looking to the Blessed Mother when she feels overwhelmed by seasonal preparations.

I'm finding myself slow to jump into this season of Advent this year. Fall turned out to be a tumultuous time that I'm struggling to recover from emotionally. With a calendar that left no breathing room between Thanksgiving and the first Sunday of Advent, it's been challenging to find the magic (and face the long to-do list) to make this time of year special for my family.  

Accepting our human limitations in the busiest fullest season of the year isn't easy. It's difficult to be honest with ourselves and what we can handle when it means simplifying and paring down our yearly traditions. It doesn't mean I want to go into full-blown Grinch mode and skip right over Christmas! It just means that my expectations need to be a little lower. 

Consider your own expectations

Let's be honest: As moms we are extremely tough on ourselves when it comes to holiday expectations. Making Advent and Christmas time special with all of the holiday traditions and all of the "shoulds" that we have swimming around in our head can be a recipe for stress and burnout. (And that's the worst kind of recipe for a Christmas cookie ever!) 

We see all the beautiful mantels and trees on social media, the outdoor light displays, and the amazing appetizer and dessert ideas all over social media. In a good year, seeing all that festivity perfection gives me inspiration to bring more beauty to my home. In an "ok" year, those images might leave a lingering thought in my heart of feeling 'sub-par'. But this year, I barely even give a glance to those kinds of posts. I'm just cheering myself on to do at least the bare necessities!  

I put away (most) of the fall decorations. Good job! We decided on an artificial tree this year and I bought one before they sold out. Great planning! Jay assembled said tree and we strung the new lights that I remembered to buy after throwing out the strands last year that only had half the bulbs lit. Good remembering! (Jay once had a coworker who shared that when he was a kid one year his parents just never got their Christmas tree out of their storage unit and they decorated a "Christmas chair" with lights on Christmas Eve that year. At least I'm one step ahead of that!) 

Our feelings don't always match the season

I don't want to feel "blah" during Advent. This year I feel like I need to put out one of those old timey "wanted" posters in my search for Christmas Spirit! During Advent and especially in the Christmas season, I think that we all long to find ourselves in the intimacy of the stable feeling the wonder and awe of Jesus' birth. But our feelings don't always match the "right" mystery of the liturgical season.  

This morning in Adoration I was reading The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander. She was saying that when we find ourselves in a mood that feels "flat" or "blue," that we are "sharing in the experience of Our Lady's sense of loss when the Child Christ left her and went without her back to Jerusalem" (99). It never fails to surprise me that I feel understood and comforted when I can associate my emotional struggles to Mary's despite the very different circumstances. 

Take an honest look at your circumstances

And while I think all of us would rather our emotions be more aligned with the way we would like to feel during Advent and Christmas, being honest with where we are at is important. We need to take account of what we have on our schedules and where we can simplify. It might not be the Christmas with as many amazing desserts or an elaborate menu or as many decorations as you usually put up. But it will be the Christmas celebration that's more authentic for where we are at this year, which will open up our hearts to receive joy. 

And that makes it just right.  

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Copyright 2024 Michelle Hamel
Images: Canva