What My Adult Catholic Children Appreciated About Their Childhood

Elena LaVictoire reflects on faith, family, and the gifts that lasted.

In three short years, my oldest child will be turning 40! Most of his siblings will be in their 30s, and my baby will be a college graduate navigating her 20s. I think my age and experience give me a unique perspective to share with some younger moms who wonder about their own children. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, when you are just trying to keep everyone fed and happy, it’s sometimes hard to find time to contemplate how our children will remember their childhoods. Will they remember us kindly as parents? Will they remember when I was too harsh, rushed, and overwhelmed? Or will they be able to overlook that and remember the special times we had, particularly regarding how we tried to pass on the Catholic faith?

Certainly, there were some missteps. We were not perfect parents by any means. And the kids do remember some of that, usually with humor! My oldest vividly remembers an afternoon when I was trying to get my four little boys out the door. Of course, they were fussing and fighting, and one of them stomped on his brother’s foot, which produced a blood-curdling scream! And … I lost it. I bellowed, “I want a holy family, damn it!” Of course, that would be the memory he gets the biggest joy in retelling!

But more often than not, I have been surprised and deeply consoled by what they say they appreciated most about their childhood. They grew up knowing that faith was woven into ordinary days, family decisions, celebrations, disappointments, forgiveness, and love.

Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

A Home Where the Quotidian was Key

One of the things I had to strive for with my six children (especially the four boys who came first!) was order in the home. Everyone had to be clean and fed, chores had to be done, and schoolwork had to be tackled. The everyday rhythm became structure. The Catholic faith augmented that. We prayed before our meals, we recognized the saint of the day, and we had weekly Mass and fellowship in our parish. Night prayers were said. My husband was a big part of that, and that was a wonderful example to our sons.

Take to heart these words which I command you today. Keep repeating them to your children. Recite them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Things in our lives were daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally — and living a Catholic liturgical life fit into that easily. As a young wife and new mom, I started slowly by simply changing my tablecloth to match the liturgical season. I covered my simple tablecloth with a clear plastic one and put pictures of the saints or the Holy Family under it. Changing the tablecloth, especially for Lent, Advent, Easter, and Christmas, is something they still enjoy today! That’s a memory they made as kids, and now it is being passed to their children.

Catholic art came next. I would find things in thrift stores or estate sales. Sometimes they would be gifted, and a few pieces were handed down from my mother and grandmother. If we didn’t have a picture or a statue of a saint, we would make our own. Those little projects are even more precious to me!

The Gift of Sunday Mass

One of the most fruitful things we did was allow our kids to participate in the Mass. The boys were all altar servers. My daughter helped arrange flowers from the cutting garden when she was in high school. Three of my kids played in the handbell choir, and most of them sang in the choir as well. By being part of the liturgy, they felt really connected to the liturgical themes and present in the season. As adults, they have said they are grateful that Mass was never presented as optional or occasional. It was simply what our family did because worshiping God was central to who we are.

We also made a big deal out of the sacraments. Babies had baptism parties (and later witnessed the parties for their siblings). Confirmandi had special dinners before we went to church for Confirmation. We also made time for Confession, especially if there had been upheaval and disagreements the week before. Seeing the faith celebrated also made an impression.

I rejoiced when they said to me, “Let us go to the house of the Lord.” (Psalm 122:1)

Faith in Action

Probably one of their most vivid memories revolved around loss. Our beloved dog was given a dire diagnosis by the vet. My husband called me at home with the news, and I had to pass it along to the children. “We should pray the Rosary!” was the suggestion of my 7-year-old. And we all knelt in the living room, choking back soft sobs as we prayed the Rosary for our dear pet.

Learning to deal with that grief was a stepping stone for handling bigger losses that came later, such as the loss of a grandparent and the miscarriage of a much-wanted baby sibling. The Catholic faith was there during the hard times, too, providing comfort and peace amid sadness.

“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

On a happier note, we also made special foods for various feast days, and they loved doing that. Some of them are still practiced today in their own homes, because they were so well loved.

Catholic life was not a theory, or a dreary set of rules. It could be smelled, sung, touched, tasted, celebrated, and remembered.

Taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:9a)

Imperfect Parents Who Kept Trying

Perhaps most encouragingly, our children did not need perfect parents. They needed parents who kept turning back to God. They saw mistakes, apologies, fatigue, impatience, and the need for mercy. They also saw Confession, prayer, perseverance, and the willingness to begin again. So yes indeed, pray, go to church, pray as a family, celebrate the liturgical year, wear your babies if you want to, homeschool if it's for your family, and bake the liturgical cupcakes. Do whatever YOU can do to make those roots grow deep into the faithful soil. And if it takes doing messy crafts or baking a treat to stir those memories and warm feelings to keep them grounded or bring them back, then that's what it takes. 

As my older children get closer to 30 and now 40, they are becoming more committed to living their Catholic faith. Reliving those special times of year draws them in!

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

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Copyright 2026 Elena LaVictoire
Images: (top) copyright Elena LaVictoire, all rights reserved; (middle two) Canva; (bottom) iStockPhoto.com, licensed for use by Holy Cross Family Ministries